Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Days like this I sort of believe that if nothing else, dealing with this illness, surviving, has made me a stronger person
however on another day shaded by the dark veil of depression I can only see where bipolar has broken me down.
Anyone relate?
however on another day shaded by the dark veil of depression I can only see where bipolar has broken me down.
Anyone relate?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
sometimes i think that my whole past has made me who i am today, including being bp, and i'm grateful for it.
other times ... when i'm in pain ... i'd give anything to just live without it.
I have to remind myself,and others around me,that at times ,the bipolar brain CANNOT ACCESS the rational side of it's cognative abilities.
We literally ,at times ,cannot see the beauty of a sunrise,the sound of birds singing.This is not a personality defect and it's not just negative thinking.It is a physiological breakdown of the bio chem balance in our brains ,that stop the brains ability to see those beautifull things.
THAT IS WHY BP is such an UGLY disease.We can be surrounded by beauty,people who love us ...and yet not be able to SEE or FEEL these things.
When I get into a bad funk...I have to keep saying ,almost chanting to myself.....things are not that bad..things are not that bad....sometimes it will work for me.
Other times,my bio brain chem misbalance wins out....and that's when the world turns dark for me.That's when I need help.
When I'm feeling better... I think that at least I've gotten to glimpse things I wouldn't have seen/experienced before I became BP (am actually schizo-affect but nobody relates to that and I do have BP symptoms).
Yet fragile and almost passive to everything some days.
Like the " Fortunately.....Unfortunately " game we played as kids.Spinning out a story sentence by sentence..good news followed by bad news then good news etc.Perpetual.
I'm also BP1 and the psychoses were the sort of trip that actually appealed to my deepest sense of what a 'trip' should be like.Also , the docs were guessing at me being " Schizo-affective" but decided on BP1.
" Well...How did I get here ?" Talking Heads.