I just read a post on BP discussion board about being empty on the inside and having to act like everything is great on the outside and I so could relate to that one! It's not like I am miserable everyday because I am not, but there are long stretches of time when I curse the day I was diagnosed because I haven't been taken seriously by anybody since the diagnoses. I don't take SSI and I still work and yet nothing I say is taken seriously, it's like climbing a mountain all of the time and never reaching the top. It dawned on me that we BP's are the most courageous people around, we really are, we keep trudging along even when we feel like dying inside and we never know when our meds will quit working or if they even do work the way they are suppose to. Also, when we go out into the world with a disease that has a major stigma we have to act as if everything is peachy and that is not easy to do and yet we do it, that's courage. Every single one of us knows that in the back of our minds somewhere we think suicide is an option at some point and yet we don't do it, that's courage. Taking medications that we don't know what they will do to us takes amazing trust and courage. We are the most courageous people on the planet that I know of and NAMI's christmas cards also stated that we were the most courageous people that there are - so for those of you who have never given yourselves a pat on the back I hope you take the time to do it today and remember how courageous you are!!!!!!
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