Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've never posted on anything like this before, so please bear with me. I am just looking for advice and support. Two and a half months ago I met the nicest guy. We began hanging out and then started dating a couple weeks after we met. He called me every day and we saw each other a few times a week. I have had other boyfriends, but never dated anyone who was so attentive in these ways. Dave seemed warm and sensitive and I found myself confiding in him. I do not easily trust others but truly felt close to him and was starting to fall in love for the first time. I know...never being in love at 35 is weird, but Dave was the first guy I felt a real connection with.
While I felt extremely close to him, I noticed that he was extremely talkative at times, had grandiose ideas (mostly about his job), could be extremely headstrong, and became paranoid (even admitted to being paranoid). He was taking a few different meds--Seroquel, Lamictal, and an anti-depressant. Also had Xanax and Valium in his med cabinet. I wasn't snooping--he told me to go in there to get a toothbrush and I saw the Xanax and Valium...the other meds were on the countertop. He told me that the meds were for stomach problems--ibs like symptoms that caused him some mental issues. He often talked about having a nervous stomach.
Two weeks ago, we were out and he started rambling on about an ex girlfriend that he broke up with because there was "no chemistry". I asked him how long they dated and he said "a little over a year". I was flabbergasted...how could someone all of a sudden decide there was no chemistry after a year?? He also told me that he broke up with her over the phone after taking two xanax and that she was at a drive thru when he dumped her. This story upset me...I realized I was getting involved with a guy who could potentially dump me out of the blue and this was scary to me. I don't want to get married tomorrow or anything, but I also don't want a relationship that is so fragile. So, I called him later that night and asked him if I was just an "interim relationship". I explained that while I wasn't rushing or pressuring him, I didn't want to be in a relationship that was one sided. I wanted to know whether or not he was happy dating me. He seemed to "skirt" the questions and not really answer them.
The next day, his parents were in town and he wanted me to meet them for the first time. This went exremely well and Dave and I spent the day after this together also. Dave told me that he was glad that I talked about my feelings and that he wanted to have fun and see where things took us. Then, he was supposed to call me the following day and he never did. I called him to see what was up and he finally returned my call much later in the day. I asked him if he was upset with our talk the other night and he said he was dealing with a lot at work (this I already knew)and could not be fully involved as a boyfriend due to work issues. He then told me that he had taken a year off from work prior to moving to Orlando. He had been fired from two jobs and "stayed home for a year". I said, "it sounds as though you were depressed" and he admitted to having "manic episodes" and told me that this was why he took the medications. We decided to take a step back and be friends, but then I didn't hear from him for several days. I emailed him a supportive, friendly email and he called me, I called him back, and he hasn't returned the call. I am not looking to get back with him romantically, as I realize that he can't deal with a relationship right now. However, I really miss his frienship and talking to him. I am blaming myself for everything. Is it typical of people with bipolar to suddenly drop their friends? Is it possibly that he never cared for me at all? I am not angry about the situation...just sad. I had suspected that he may be bipolar due to the fact that he took seroquel, but never really wanted to believe that he had this disorder. Now that I know what he is dealing with, I'd love to be there for him as a friend.
Posted on 01/01/09, 08:01 am
While I felt extremely close to him, I noticed that he was extremely talkative at times, had grandiose ideas (mostly about his job), could be extremely headstrong, and became paranoid (even admitted to being paranoid). He was taking a few different meds--Seroquel, Lamictal, and an anti-depressant. Also had Xanax and Valium in his med cabinet. I wasn't snooping--he told me to go in there to get a toothbrush and I saw the Xanax and Valium...the other meds were on the countertop. He told me that the meds were for stomach problems--ibs like symptoms that caused him some mental issues. He often talked about having a nervous stomach.
Two weeks ago, we were out and he started rambling on about an ex girlfriend that he broke up with because there was "no chemistry". I asked him how long they dated and he said "a little over a year". I was flabbergasted...how could someone all of a sudden decide there was no chemistry after a year?? He also told me that he broke up with her over the phone after taking two xanax and that she was at a drive thru when he dumped her. This story upset me...I realized I was getting involved with a guy who could potentially dump me out of the blue and this was scary to me. I don't want to get married tomorrow or anything, but I also don't want a relationship that is so fragile. So, I called him later that night and asked him if I was just an "interim relationship". I explained that while I wasn't rushing or pressuring him, I didn't want to be in a relationship that was one sided. I wanted to know whether or not he was happy dating me. He seemed to "skirt" the questions and not really answer them.
The next day, his parents were in town and he wanted me to meet them for the first time. This went exremely well and Dave and I spent the day after this together also. Dave told me that he was glad that I talked about my feelings and that he wanted to have fun and see where things took us. Then, he was supposed to call me the following day and he never did. I called him to see what was up and he finally returned my call much later in the day. I asked him if he was upset with our talk the other night and he said he was dealing with a lot at work (this I already knew)and could not be fully involved as a boyfriend due to work issues. He then told me that he had taken a year off from work prior to moving to Orlando. He had been fired from two jobs and "stayed home for a year". I said, "it sounds as though you were depressed" and he admitted to having "manic episodes" and told me that this was why he took the medications. We decided to take a step back and be friends, but then I didn't hear from him for several days. I emailed him a supportive, friendly email and he called me, I called him back, and he hasn't returned the call. I am not looking to get back with him romantically, as I realize that he can't deal with a relationship right now. However, I really miss his frienship and talking to him. I am blaming myself for everything. Is it typical of people with bipolar to suddenly drop their friends? Is it possibly that he never cared for me at all? I am not angry about the situation...just sad. I had suspected that he may be bipolar due to the fact that he took seroquel, but never really wanted to believe that he had this disorder. Now that I know what he is dealing with, I'd love to be there for him as a friend.
Posted on 01/01/09, 08:01 am
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