Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

2 Online
2 Online

Blaming everything on bipolar

My partner says i do this... i dont know whether i do or i dont, i mean, its not something i do intentionally!!!!

He says its mainly if ive misjudged things... although i do think that sometimes (whether im hypo, manic or depressed) my judgement IS affected by it.

For example, if im feeling low, and theres someone hitting on me, im more likely to think theyre being nice to pity me rather than they like me and it needs pointing out to me!

Or if im paranoid i can misjudge someones actions as being sneaky, against me when this may not be the case at all!

I try to explain to my partner im NOT just excusing myself because im "feeling ill" but he really just doesn' get it... or is it me that doesn't get it?? Am i excusing myself?? Do any of you feel this???

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

I get it. Sometimes I get the impression that anyone who knows I am BP assumes every mood I have is dictated by it.

Why can't I have bad and good days? Yes, sometimes I may be in a bad mood, or say something bitchy... but that's who I am.

I have BP, but I also have a personality. Don't let anyone change that..
deleted_user
deleted_user

I think its very easy to feel confused yourself about whether its the bipolar or not. People tell me i use my bipolar as an excuse for my actions and I get stroppy and say no! thats not the case, than later i may think mmm maybe that emotion or reaction was real and not my disorder.

I think when any of us truly know which part of us is the bipolar and which isn't, than we can decide for ourselves what is bipolar behavior and what isn't. And hopefully, the loved ones around us will trust us and believe us, maybe even understand if they try hard enough.
Shelly4
Shelly4

This disorder can be so complicated sometimes that we dont even know ourselves where some of our reactions come from. The best solution is to try to know yourself the best you can. Over the years, I have found that my therapist has been extremely valuable to me in my quest to know my true self beyond the bipolar disorder. There are many levels of behavior, some of which can be shed. Learned behavior caused by our disorder can be discovered and we can learn new ways to behave in given situations. If you recognize a particular behavior as a product of the disorder than you can learn to identify it when it happens and learn a new way to respond. Much of our self doubt and low self esteem comes from the disorder but also manifests itself from our environement growing up and the fact that others did not understand what we were experiencing. Work closely with your therapist and if you cant afford one, read as much as you can to learn to identify your behaviors and triggers and correct them. Also, stay completely open with your partner about the things you learn. Blessings
deleted_user
deleted_user

Shelly makes some very logical observations about "knowing your bipolar" It is so very important to put them into action. Try not to be so defencive of our disorder. Live and "beleive" that we can perform at an adequate level of behavior. The secret is to have confidence in "self" and try not to let the "disorder" be a "disorder".
deleted_user
deleted_user

I use bipolar as an excuse to isolate plu I have blamed some of my past negative actions on thee illness which is wrong. That would mean that BPDO takes away my free will to make my own decisions, I do not believe this is true. It may influence my decisions but ultimately it is my choice. I hope. I too misread people all the time and assume it is because they know I have BPDO
deleted_user
deleted_user

Bipolar doesn't mean that we are unable to feel what we are really feeling inside. I get that to, mainly from my mother and sister. Even though they haven't been around me for the past nine years, anytime I actually show my distaste for something they assume it is my Bipolar.
Yes, there are times I have taken peoples behavior towards me the wrong way, but it is like someone once told me here...All you can do is do your best, we can't change the past. We are not meant to be perfect, and I agree with #3 and #4...try to know your triggers and don't feel bad everytime you, "myself also" , make a mistake. We are not defined by our Bipolar.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I went through this same issue, checking myself.
Blaming everything on bi-polar is actually blaming you for being yourself since your brain is manically depressed.
It is like blaming a retarted person for being retarted, no shit, the dude is retarted, he cannot fit into the normal mode of being.
Why do you act bi-polar, well no shit, you are bi-polar, therefore, your actions will show it off to one degree or another.
A bi-polar person cannot hide out among normal people forever, eventually, it will become obvious that the dude does not think the same.
I would swear that this disease should be called manically depressed instead of manic depression. I even believe the mania stems from too much depression, maniac depression mania.
I believe that the body, trying to fight the depression, fights too hard into mania.
(My personnal opinion!!!!)
Blaming your actions on BP is you blaming yourself for being you, or someone else blaming you. BP is you! At least a MASSIVE part of the you or I AM!
You know.....I think therefore I am.
In BP land...I think not right therefore I act not right.
See what I am saying????
Instead of blaming BP just blame yourself, same shit.
But we all have to ease up on ourselves otherwise we will feed the (bads.)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Exactly deepthinker, all we can do is our best.
We are BP, and in my opinion, we're not that bad of people.
deleted_user
deleted_user

annie......most or at least many beepers are the most compassionate people there are.
Shit, I cannot even go fishing because I feel bad about hooking into a fish for no real reason.
My wife called that empathy.
I have a high amount of that.
( A little off the topic....sorry!!!)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Maybe your thinking is faulty ,that depends, How much do you trust the person whos telling you it is.BUT maybe its not and that person is just trying to sway you to see things there way ,it depends how much you trust the other persons judgement.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I feel I might.

I use the excuse, I cant go outside because people will see me, see I am depressed and judge me, make fun, say rude things, or treat me like crap.

Its MY paranoia that tells me, each man that may hit on me is a diviant. Is out to get something for nothing. Is trying to violate, or use me. It tells me that I am too low class to be seen in great places. I dont have any cool clothes, I am a "scrub". That my art is garbage and no one will like it. Tell me I am worthless and not even a part of FUNCTIONING SOCIETY.

I do blame my BP for that. Sometimes if I am aching all over, I wont go to work. And that has happened way to many times if you know what I mean.

I dont want to, and I know I cant help it.
Because its not my doing, or my fault I have BP and all these problems. Its also not my fault that I have poor coping skills (working on that one)

But if its not my fault then who's is it?
My Brain. My Chemical dis-romance. My paranoia-chute pants, my distorted contusion of body, my low self esteem roller, and askewed, torn paperback society.

Its not your fault.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Rambler my buddy........
I have to say this is a fact, for me....that before my anti-psychotic and mood stabilizer, I was thinking way to crazy and was deep in a fantasy land created by my own mind.
After meds, things, for me are MUCH better, but not the best!
The effects of what I deem a neurological dissorder are always present to some degree.
But at least I do not think I am one specially sent by God to complete a wacked out mission of some shit.
But when it comes to BP being the us or not....I would like to say this....take out my brain and switch it with a normal persons for a year.....I bet you they would not have liked that swap to well.
So BP is us...our brain...and our brain controlls just about everything in reality.
My opinion at least!
deleted_user
deleted_user

It just seems that I went through several bad episodes that I Blamed my BP for everything I felt and had to deal with in life. BP does not define who we are. Yes, we have a terrible mood disorder, and I have had my life completely destroyed before... try spending a year in a state mental hospital when you are only 15 and 16.
It is how you pick up yourself after the fall, meds do help,,, We have an obligation to ourselves to live and possibly try to make our lives as functional as possible.
And, I have been through alot, but I do pick myself up. That is why I feel an obligation to contribute and be positive.
No meaning offense to anyone...You are all in my prayers.
deleted_user
deleted_user

How did we get from BP symptoms to blaming our BP??- Sorry , I got off the subject! HUGS to you>>
deleted_user
deleted_user

Bump my posts.