I've been there, done that. Mine is 20 now, was dx at 7. Suffered 18 hospitalizations, 2 residential treatment programs, longest hospitalization 4 1/2 months, auditory, visual, and sensory hallucinations, serious rages and many suicide attempts. We were told he's never live outside an institution. HA!

Ultimately, never in trouble with the law, graduated High School with High Honors, has his own car, girlfriend, takes care of his own finances and apartment (in our house), working summer job as IT Tech, will be attending school in fall as Post Grad for Electrician program, has goals and direction. Good, smart, insightful, polite, kind, considerate, compassionate human being.

Sure, he has bipolar, life is more challenging for him than the average 20 year old, but he's got his head on straight and his eyes on the prize and I believe in him.

So, If you're looking for someone who's come out on the other side, I'd be happy to give my 2 cents worth.

Mental health, Thanks for the inspiration. I am always hoping that things will be getting better just around the corner, and they do in one area with him, then another problem will come up. Right now he has been on meds since October of 2006 and they are starting to not work already. He is becoming irritable and depressed again and has started having homicidal and possibly suicidal thoughts again. (he had both ALOT pre meds though he has never acted on them)
I have had a challenge knowing how to take care of him almost since he popped out of me (and even before), I had a hard pregnancy and even harder birth. THen divorced his dad at 2 1/2 years old and with a new 3 months baby sister. But had been having sleeping issues with him since day one. He would run through the house screaming bloody murder if we left him in his room at night to sleep. We eventually took his door knob off and he finally settled down after a long time. Then he got night terrors for a year or so. After he started meds he grew 3 inches and I really believe it was because he was finally sleeping!

I am just worried about having to change his meds or up them. How often do we have to do that so he is heavily drugged by the time he is 12? I don't want the drugs to completely alter his personality cause he does have a VERY loving side to him (in a dr. jekyl, mr. hyde sort of way). He is not a problem at school and is smart on the honor roll.

But his other issue is friends. He cannot seem to make friends and when he does he has a hard time keeping them.

Any advice on things to try or do that helped you and your son would be great!
Sorry this was so long, I guess I had a lot to get off my chest!

My gosh, I have tears in my eyes, I could have written your post several years ago.

We used to call my son (not to his face but to the doc) Dr Jeckly/Mr. Hyde. I used to explain it was like turning a light switch on and off. Totally unpredictable. Keep holding on to that sweet young many you see inside, because you're right, that's your son, the rest is the damn illness that takes over.

A social life for our kids is so sad. When Josh was probably 9 we had a birthday party for him. Invited all the boys in his class and the boys in the neighborhood. Not one kid came. It was a party where we were going to go to DZ and the kids would have pizza and play in the balls and play games then come home for cake and ice cream but nobody came. My heart was broken. He kept staring out the window.

I finally called the neighbors Dad and promised I would watch very carefully and be sure Josh wouldn't beat his son up. So he had one kid because I begged.

Med changes? That unfortunately will be an ongoing issue. Especially as he approaches puberty. We had Josh stable for 2 1/2 years. Doing well, home, no hospitalization during this time, in private school, excelling and bang, puberty and it all went to hell. Five hospitalizations in 2 months, the last one being for 4 1/2 months while waiting for a residential treatment placement. Then another 20 months there.

BTW -- Josh used to constrict at school too. We had multiple child psychologists tell us that was because he did not feel "psychologically safe" there but sure did at home, so when he got home....he let lose.... I actually would equate it to a volcano erupting. lol.What do you think? lol

Hey if you don't laugh, you'll spend all your time crying.

I'm here, What else you got? Mary (MHA)

Mental health:
Thanks for the understanding. SOmetimes I feel so isolated. Ya know, like I am the only one with a kid like this and I must be doing something wrong. The logical part of me tells me it isn't me since I have another child who is just fine. BUt I still can't help but wonder what more I can do to help him.

What was it that caused your son to be in the hospital?
Also, did you have eating or drinking issues with him? My son has an aversion to drinking. We have to force him to drink water with threats of taking him to the hospital for an iv since he gets dehydrated and gets headaches from not drinking. It is just one of the many joys of our daily life.

PS- I have cried so much, I can't help but laugh sometimes when I am out of tears! LOL!!

My daughter was diagnosed at 13, she is now 17. She has won awards for her photography and ceramic sculptures as well as writing. She keeps a mood chart. We started that early. Yes, we have had big ups and downs and several med changes however I am so proud of her. She is blossoming into a beautiful young woman who is going to live with bi-polar. Stay close to your child,so they will talk to you, that helps alot.

Thank you otter, do you have any specific suggestions? Like what type of meds did you go through with your daughter (or anyone else here)?
Thank you for the support. My son and I are very close, whichmakes it extra hard because I feel his pain so acutely. He is very hard to deal with and he knows it, but he does not want to be but cannot seem to help it. He finds ways to "adapt" to his inability to "control" himself sometimes. It is painful to see. I just want him to feel better!

Hi flighty,
Josh was typically hospitalized for all kinds of reasons, suicide attempts, violent manias that I just couldn't handle any more, simply refusing to take meds and see the pdoc, or being so depressed he wasn't functioning enough to go to school for a week or two. So many things.. And there were many, many other times he should have been hospitalized. He was in the state mental health system as a child and was determined to be one of the sickest kids in the system who they believed had a very poor prognosis.

What meds is your son on?

Yes, Flighty, We began with Lamictal and probably could have stayed on it had we lowered the dose and added and antidepressant. However we changed doctors and he wanted to put her on a very low dose pf Abilify and she is doing very well. The more she gets invloved and stays active the better she is. When she starts to go manic(because she forget to take her meds), I keep her home until she is stabilized. She is not on an antidepressant now.

Hello Moms,
Yes there is comfort in numbers huh?
As you can see Flighty, you are not alone and this is a very good place to be. You can learn a lot from moms like MHA and Otterheart.Like them, my kid has been through the wringer and is coming out the other side at 18. Her struggles didn't really kick in until puberty..age 11..and her initial diagnosis was depression. Changed to Bp at 15. I don't taalk alot about her past behavior, partly because it is still traumatizing for me, but also because it is her private history. Plus, being female, her acting out was different from your sons.
But I totally identify with what you said about being afraid of these strong medicines, and how they might effect your sons personality. I can remember having to leave the first dose of Lithium on the pharmacy counter and run to the car for a cry, before I can back in to purchase it. This is not what I signed up for!! What about all those organic veggies I ate during pregnancy?
But MHA is right. The mulitple meds, and multiple med changes go with the journey for BP stability. Just accept it now, or begin to try. My daughter's doctor once told me " You are right. We have no long term studies to explain how these drugs might effect a developing mind 20, 30 years from now. BUt we do know the effects of not treating a depressed or BP teenager..arrested developement, possible jail time, pregnancy, possible suicide, self multilation etc...." You've got to weigh it all.
The drug that is working best for us right now is Lamictal. She is also on a small dose of lithium and Celexa as and anti-d. At the moment, no anti-psychotic.
Sorry to be so long winded.

And clearly, you are doing a great parenting job by staying connected to your son, and reaching out for yourself. Welcome to this caring space.

hi..apparently those who are highly intelligent have a predisposition to geting bipolar..i believe ive had it for years but it has only recently becum worse..my early years sound extremely similar to your sons and i also ahve gone on to cope against all odds..

Thank you all for your support, it is good to see it gets better:)
I have heard of Lamictil but our psych says it is not been ok'd for kids. I have heard it is a really good mood stabilizer though. He is on prozac for depression and valproic acid for mood stabilizer. He also takes seroquel to sleep.
He is getting depressed and suicidal/homicidal thoughts again, (they went away for about 6-7 months when we first got him on meds), and we have an appt. on next Tuesday with his doctor and I think we need to change meds and i would like to have an idea of some others that seem to be working for kids with a tendancy toward depression/suicide. So any other ideas or thoughts are appreciated! He is also headed into puberty and I am sure this affects things and meds and how they work or not?
Thanks again all of you!!

Go online and bone up on everyhting for children. There are websites specific for children with BP as well as NAMI whose site I find emmensly helpful often. Good Luck.

I'm with Otterheart...educated yourself as much as possible, Thank God for the internet.

Prozac worked for my daughter for the first two years. Then it didn't. Celexa has since then. Do you like your doctor? That is key.