Don't really know where to begin, but I'll start of saying that I feel really bad right now. So many disapointments and people(family) not understanding Bipolar has caused so many problems. I've had many jobs, been on so many different medications, that I don't know how to break the cycle of failure and depression. I've educated myself about Bipolar and know a lot about the disorder. I am so tired mentally of dealing with this. I've failed at relationships, family, and jobs (grocery manager, banking manager, and even the Navy, which I recently got out of due to being depressed. Childhood memories from a bad divorce to living with an ancholic forced me to grow up really fast. Every night I try to sleep I find myself thinking about everything from past to present, and how disappointed I am with myself. I find myself trying to explain to everyone how I feel, but they just don't understand. They (family) interpet this as being lazy and nonproductive. I know that I am capable of doing really well, but I have made myself believe that inorder for me to succeed at the next journey in my life, I need to receive help. The only problem is that I don't have insurance and that it cost so much to recieve help from therapist and psychologist, which I don't have the funds. So many problems with myself, so many problems with everything.
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