Don't really know where to begin, but I'll start of saying that I feel really bad right now. So many disapointments and people(family) not understanding Bipolar has caused so many problems. I've had many jobs, been on so many different medications, that I don't know how to break the cycle of failure and depression. I've educated myself about Bipolar and know a lot about the disorder. I am so tired mentally of dealing with this. I've failed at relationships, family, and jobs (grocery manager, banking manager, and even the Navy, which I recently got out of due to being depressed. Childhood memories from a bad divorce to living with an ancholic forced me to grow up really fast. Every night I try to sleep I find myself thinking about everything from past to present, and how disappointed I am with myself. I find myself trying to explain to everyone how I feel, but they just don't understand. They (family) interpet this as being lazy and nonproductive. I know that I am capable of doing really well, but I have made myself believe that inorder for me to succeed at the next journey in my life, I need to receive help. The only problem is that I don't have insurance and that it cost so much to recieve help from therapist and psychologist, which I don't have the funds. So many problems with myself, so many problems with everything.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...