I try my best not to let it define me. But lately I have just been reading all I can on it. Maybe it's a bit much. I tend to get obsessive that way.

I am not bp, neither am I only diabetic or any of the other illnesses I have I am me. Now think about something, I know when I was pregnant it seemed I saw pregnant women everywhere, it is just that we are mor concious of the issue at hand so notice it more. And if you have let people know about your bp they will also be more concious and will let you know everything they here or learn about it. So don't worry about it like everything else this too shall pass.

well, no. I'm glad I discovered D.S. because I have been alone in my BPness all my life.
Perhaps you notice it more because you don't want to be BP? I'm getting that because you mentioned the pills that you resent having to take.
Do you resent the diagnoses? None of us like being BP either. Some have accepted it and some haven't. We're all a work in progress.

BPness? Oh man, I can't believe I said that.
Say it aloud to yourself and you'll see what I mean.

Exactly.

I don't resent the diagnosis, I'm really okay with being BP. I'm relieved to finally know what's been wrong in my life and I'm relieved that I'm not alone in it either. I just HATE the side effects of all the meds. That's why I resent them so much.

Dobie,thats dirty!

It is still a struggle for me, the idea of meds being vital, as though I don't have a choice.

A prisoner of our own minds.

Exactly, Orb

LMAO Dobie...too funny

I don't really know what it feels like to be in your shoes. My wife has bp, not me. The only comparison I have is that I developed type I diabetes when I was young. This was back in the day when the only diet drink was Tab or Diet Rite Cola. YUCK! They had just come out with some horrible sugar substitute. I hated taking four shots a day. I despised the diet I was on when so many other kids could eat whatever they wanted. I hated that my family went through so much...they tried to eat my diabetic diet instead of what they wanted. I hated them doing that. It made me feel bad. But, I learned how to cope with it. I was able to live my life wihout any major complications. Over 25 years later, I'm still going. The injections don't bother me...they are like brushing my teeth...just something that needs to be done.

I've watched my wife go through the meds adjustment. I don't like watching the side effects and how they affected her. But, my wife is back to the person I used to know. Her rage is gone. Her manic, "who the hell is that person?," side is gone. Everything that bp enabled her to do badly is now under control. I'm very thankful that I have a wife who is willing to take her meds so that she can function. I'm thankful that she is trying so hard to make everything right again.

Sorry for the long post...I know that many can't read long posts. I just wanted to share. Thanks.

Yes there are a lot of people with this disorder but suffice to say I am BP and BP is me I have had longer then not first acute signs I was 10. Back then they could not DX a child as BP it was not in the DSM book... I was just going through life changes as one doctor wrote and too empathetic to deal with peers...

The vure was to have me ONLY around adults so that my mind would be kept up with.

Yeah, well for a 10 year old like too many of us been to hell and back too many times.

Anyways, I have BP y friend T has BP my dad won't admit he is BP he also has BPD and PTSD

I guess child hood traumas are pretty normal. Glad I have been able to keep my kids pretty much snuggled if not smothered by mommies nest!!!

Thanks for your reply, Jay. And no it wasn't too long, I read it all.