How do you stay sane when your everyday life is so non constructive for your BPD? Im raising my grand daughters, dealing with my non understanding Husband, living in a very small town with no family & little friends for support. I lost the only job that I absolutely loved when I gained custody of my 2 nd. Grand daughter. Just 22 days before my 7th. anniversary at work!! Pills don't help these things it just makes me deal with it better, but not like it should! I'm so confused as to what I should do. Should I leave my Husband, move back to where my family lives, would they really make that much of a difference? My Husband say's he loves me everyday, actions speak so much louder than words. He makes no attempt to learn about my disorder, he made love to me 3 times last year! I understand the strain it has been on him, why can't he understand mine? When will it be my turn to shine, when will I be able to focus on my well-being? Am I being self-centered, if I put my energy (what little i have) into everyone else will that make it all better? or Will that just run me down even more?.......The baby is waking up... :( its time to put on my happy face, it does help seeing her beautiful smile when she wakes. Reality as always set in late afternoon!
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