Its ok to take a time out every so often, just to recharge, trying to be happy is a tough business, tiring, to let yourself go a little and just 'be' is not always a bad thing.
Stop fighting it for a little while, regain your strength, then come back swinging!!!

I hope things get easier for you soon.
xxx

Please hang on to that tiny bit of hope you see every so often. I'm with fazer, give yourself a break. Don't try so hard to be happy all the time. I hate doing that. It drains what little energy I have left. Its one of the reasons I skip work when I'm depressed, so I don't have to pretend.

Unfortunately, this disorder has ups and DOWNS. It may be helpful to have a standard plan in place for when you're down. Have you talked to your flatmate about your disorder? I have a 'tips for family and friends' newsletter I can send you privately that may help your friends understand you better. Have you tried talking to your pdoc or tdoc? Maybe you need a med adjustment. I get to the place you're in all the time. I have a few up days then it all comes crashing down again. Make sure when you're feeling better you get all those annoying things done that you can't do when you're down. Be gentle with youself.
peace, teresa

Its not so wrong honey, to just not feel strong anymore. That is what makes the depression so debilitating. We arent able to see the positive because we are so down. I am in a bad place now too and usually the last thing I want to do is be around "happy" people cuz it just makes me want to scream that I cant be that way. Not all people understand this that dont struggle from bipolar disorder. They think if you are around them you will just automatically be lifted to a better place. When bipolar our downs arent just being in a bad mood or being sad. They are chemical and very traumatic, way beyond our control. When I get this bad, I take a break. I cant be everything for everybody and I know it. So I step back, contemplate in my own world and try to make the best of it. The danger comes in isolation. When we do that, we spiral faster and risk hitting the pit of suicidal tendencies. If you feel yourself going that low, you know what you need to do. Pdoc or Tdoc help is necessary then. Put your safeguards in place and follow your pattern closely. You know the signs that tell you that you need to reach for help. Otherwis, I am with Fazer too. Sometimes we just have to "be" and let it ride the wave. You are loved here and we support you, so let us hold you while you cant hold yourself. Hugs

It's okay to feel like that.
It goes from explosion to total internal collapse and everything in between.
Sometimes it feels good and steady too.
I keep going cos it's a weird feeling to be alive at all.I owe myself that much now.To keep battling.
Who knows what good seeds may be planted from the harder times ? I mean,most things flower at different times.I'm pretty sure that our lives do too.

Just don't give up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel & when you see it you will be happy you hung on.