I did this once before, when much younger, after a psychotic episode...a decade later it's all deja vu...pushing people away, feeling sorry for self, or sth.

Oh yeah Lou. I've done this many times. I usually ignore people which pushes them away.

YES!
Of all of that things that BP makes you do, this is the only thing that I can't even begin to justify in my head. I have really messed up friend to many times. I could spend an entire life making it up to my good friends

I have to be the worst at this. I have been isolating for abouto 3 months. I quit working, turned off my answering machine and have made excuses not to talk to anyone.
The persistant ones I have been sending an automatic email reply expalining I am unavailable right now.

It is lucky most don't know where I live so they don't come over.

This is no way to live!

I have done this in the past, an old friend says I fall off the planet when iam in pain. She is right. I avoid most contact with the outside world.

I dont want to involve anyone in my mess, mood, low. I dont know. Is this common for Bipolars to do. I was only diagnosed last year. But have done this most of my adult life.

Its gotten to the point that if someone says to call me I just say "I wont but thanks" I just cant put the effort into seeing people all the time ... when would I have time to freak out?

Yes, Since about March I have been isolating myself from people--more often than I usually do anythow. My best friend and I used to talk on the phone all the time, and email often. I flew to New Mexico in April to visit her, and we went to the Grand Canyon. I just became really agitated in her presence, and since the trip I haven't spoken to her on the phone, and only emailed three times. She's bipolar as well and I know she needs my support but I just can't seem to bring myself to call or type out an email. She is really the only friend have. I close myself off socially...I tell myself that I hate people, but I just think that I hate the process of getting to know people and weeding out those who I have things in common with.

Yes, I isolate terribly when I am depressed and when I'm too manic as well. I didn't even attend a party I WAS HOSTING about a week ago. Don't even know who showed up. Wanted to go to hospital that day. I've lost so many friends due to aggitated mania or depression that I still isolate a lot. It's painful.Thank goodness for DS

I've had people calling me all the time lately and I just ignore them and don't call them back. It just seems like too much effort to talk to anyone, let alone, talk to them.

You are not alone. I spent my whole life pushing people away, being rude to people, and just plain hiding all in the name of not knowing what was wrong with me.

Since my last major anxiety attack I have learned that I live in full anxiety most of my days, then in depression in the other part.

One more time meds have literally opened my eyes and saved my life. I know it is short lived and this too shall pass like a bowling ball out my uretha, but it will pass nonetheless.

You can blame yourself but we both know that is like blaming your double helix, or your DNA.

Hang in there and just keep talking, you have helped me one more time.

I have done this all my life...when I'm manic I have all sorts of aquaintences. Then I drop them like a hot rock when I get into depression. I only have one good friend left and I almost screw that one up all the time. I recently started going to DBSA meetings and that has helped me tremendously. I'm with people who understand but I don't have to be friends with them. peace, t

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one who prefers to be alone during those depressive times. Those who aren't BP don't understand. When I don't feel well I just want to be left alone and make excuses not to keep company with others. Those times that I do try to participate lately, the ladies who want to keep company with me have been so vocal about their own problems that it brings me down even lower than I already am. It's just too much for me to handle. I'm barely keeping my own head above water. Nevermind taking on others.

yes, its very frustrating.

I cant stand being around people but I force myself. When I can I isolate myself as much as possible.

i get super stressed about having to see people ... i'm totally socially avoidant.

i am SO proud of myself that i saw an old friend for tea on wednesday AND went out to breakfast with some work buddies today. yay!