Today I'm having an average day. I have talked to some people, of whom I had guilty feelings towards and they all are forgiving and understanding. I still wake up knowing that this illness is never going to pay me back for the problems that it has caused me, but I know that I must be strong and get through each day. I could say that I"m having a good day. I was having some weak ones earlier. Staying home all day with nothing to do was starting to get to me. I should have tried harder to get back into school, but after my last hospitalization, my parents thought that it would be better if I took some time off. I found several jobs in that time and it took me a little while to find the right one. I don't feel manic, I feel plain. That's alright with me. The worrying still gets to me, whether I'll get through college. Though I got this far (one year in), I believe that I can do it.