Don't you think it's really about where we are in our stability? I had what I call six years of stability, but I still had good and bad days.

I still don't know how to explain my days I'm not doing well to others (even those that know I have BP). But, when I'm doing well, I tend to overdo for others.

The question is what is our definition of selfish? If it's taking care of myself so I can be there for others, it's self preservation. Interesting topic though.

Once meds are regulated it will be *easier* to deal with life and the mood fluctuations will be less severe (most of the time). I was recently reading a book recently that advised you to "treat bipolar first." Once you address the illness only then can you communicate effectively and interact appropriately. So I think its a necessity for us to be a bit selfish.

I think you have some good perspective. No, we should not expect our family to totally understand us. But we should be lucky enough to have a community of people that love us no matter what.

I feel I have that type of community around me. I chose to finally get therapy and go on meds because it was affecting my work. Let's face it, my freinds are just as screwed up as I am. Maybe they aren't BP, but they have their own issues.

My husband and I remind each other all the time "put your oxagin (i can't spell this morning) mask on first, then assist the person next to you."

Take care of yourself first. And I pray you have a community that accepts you and all your wacked out ways.

Meds will keep you from interupting, and maybe buying that brand new gaget that you don't have the money for. But they won't give you coping skills. You will still have emotions, and that is great. They just won't be so exagerted. People at work are already wondering why I am mellow. I am getting the same amount of work done, but I am not glued to the ceiling. They think there is something wrong with me. I just put on my oxegen mask.

It is good to think of others and the good they do or or the good things we could do to help the down and out. But when you are sick with mania or depression many times you can't think of these things because your brain is off kilter and you are doing all you can just to survive. We have to cope with all of lifes crappy stuff just like 'normies' but we have Bp on top of it. I think as a whole we do pretty good.

I always feel self- centered. When I do my volunteer work that seems to help me get out of myself.
But I know what you mean. I am so tired of being the topic of conversation for my family and my husband. Is she okay? How is she today? Do we have to walk on eggshells today? But its my own fault. But its okay. This disease begs for attention. You just need to do things for others to try to stop thinking about yourself for awhile. And believe me, I am aware we don't want to think about ourselves as much as we do.

I used to tell friends that it is an odd feeling to be told by my psych to just think of myself.If I had to say 'no' to someone it would be followed by an endless stream of apologies on my own part.Simply cos I wasn't used to saying No.
It was a great friend that told me that, whatever I think, the others around me haven't experienced my Bipolar and all the shit we endure just to try and reach the next day.
That really reached to me.
Fell bad if you want but remember that life and death and their meaning has shifted.

typo..'Feel'

I had fish and chips today, mate

I'm not self centered, even tho this post is about ME, and I really odn't care about anyone elses opinions because only MINE count so take MY advice and


ooops... jeez i suppose I might could think about someone else for a bit... nah, its all about me better that way, then i can't blame anyone else for the crazy shit

i don't know.

i think we are reasonable in expecting our families, those we live with, if they mean to be part of our support system, to take an active part in understanding what we go through.

they're never going to totally get it. nobody will. nobody will ever really "get" anything that we've been through.

i agree with pluck about learning to just say no.

some people, too, are never going to understand us and i'm learning to accept that.

my coworkers don't get it when i'm in a shitty mood and i don't feel like explaining, "well, you see, i'm bipolar and i'm having a low week."

let them think i'm just a bitch. that's fine with me.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to sort yr head so you can bear living in it.
You'll be surprised seeing the very selfish people outside yr window.

I find it ironic that I come to DS to escape from ME in real life .. yet..share stories about what 'cages' me in real life.

Don't think that way. You only feel that way because of the huge stigma attached to our illness. You would never wonder why someone with cancer didn't get up off their ass, or why someone with diabetes couldn't just suck it up and come to the party if they'd just had an attack. I think you're being too hard on yourself. But I can relate. :)

My family know nothing of what I go through, they simply dont want know.

I dont talk about my bi-polar unless with my friend who is a fellow sufferer.

I always put others before myself. I know there are probably a lot you that are exactly the same.

So no I dont think we are self centred. If we were, we wouldnt be here offering our support to each other.