Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
The Pit
Swirling black
Hungry
For me
Once I am in
Theres no going back
I reach out but theres no one there
To save me from myself
Strength to save myself
I am at a lack
But in this pit there is a light
Light I can feel but cant yet see
As I careen into this pit
Falling like a stone
I find my reason
I find it and take it back
The Pit is my constant companion
Always at my side
Taunting and threatening
This ride I am on
Seems to never end
Yet somehow I arise again
To face the darkness
Looking for the light
Feeling it
Yet never seeing
But I will go on
And rise from The Pit like the Phoenix
From these ashes I will find the light
Paper and Pen
Were borne out of need
Onto each page
The ink has to bleed
I'd pace the park
In my cigarette breaks and
Where there was grass
I'd see Canadian Lakes
Rapids and Streams
Into consciousness flow
A perfect concealment
Like a body blow
If it's healing me
I can free you
I've seen your hair
Make a lover of light
A caress of hand
Inner motions of flight
The birds fed me once
I was somewhere in town
My mind was so fast
That I couldn't slow down..
I was frightened like a tree
Dead in the leaves
The soil was so dry
I became my own Wreath
If it's freeing me
I can heal you
Now I write on a screen
I can see the impact
I am now in control
Of the way I react
I can walk with a swagger
And smile at the sun
See,nobody knows
How the ending's begun
I love your jawline
Made by God's own hand
I look behind me
Past the prints in the sand..
It is freeing me
It is healing me
I can heal you
I can free you
So a beholder I,
I think.
So a witness,
for some must see;
even when vision cripples,
even when perception kills
(as it can).
Revered, reviled
for the same.
Madness, all.
My mind - from my mouth,
and my heart - from my hands,
speak:
sing of leviathan sentiment;
sing a vibrancy of pathos;
this fount of fervor.
In this joyous marrow
obliterated
- mute, and blind,
and alive.
Yet so does the inversion
cloud the water;
- it's darker where it's deeper-
as for each light a darkness,
each day a night.
That light that lives in eyes:
by it's absence
so perdition is illuminated.
Oh, strength bear witness,
to prevent that weighty ken
from crushing
a delicate mind.
Woe to be damaged,
- not damaged, please -
but doubt lives here.
Would I see it if I looked?
What story tell my eyes?
Are they shivering animals
cowering from the kick?
To cry pardon,
to cry mercy...
Oh, if only sweet grace of benevolence
could swathe wounds
of spirit fatigued
by cruelty.
How barbarism bleeds love
from my stone.
How tired, so very tired,
my soul.
- And eyes speak that.
My eyes speak that,
I know.
there was more beauty in laughter when you were here. the songs of the pines weren't quite so sad. my smile was brighter as i watched you live. love was easier to give. hurts easier to take. you brought peace to my mind. holding you against me in an embrace. looking into the bluest eyes God ever created. listening to the whippoorwills while your voice echoed in the night. tucking you in for the last time knowing i would never be whole again. you were beauty personified on the outside but i couldn't see the ugliness you felt inside. i never knew how strong you were untill your strength was taken away. when you were here i was who i should be. you made me grow. you showed me what it meant to willingly give my heart. i loved you. i didn't think i could live without you. i didn't know the world could exist without you but that was when you were here.
~pw~
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he was wiping his chin
If my ear was a cunt
I do believe I'd fuck it.
Let me fly into the wind around the moon and through the stars.
Let me feel God's warm light and know the love that is in His eyes.
Know that death is but a step away from where you are standing today. I'm still with you in your heart we will never be apart.
Darkness and pain have gone away. I 've gone to where angels play. A place where joy shines brighter than gold. Tears never fall and pain is no more.
I know you grieve. I know you mourn but I'll catch your tears till you cry no more. I'll be the breeze that will kiss your cheek. I'll hold you up when you are weak.
Let me fly where boundaries have no end. Let me have freedom let me feel the wind. Let me smile, let laughter come. The pain is gone, the hurt is done.
Look to the heavens and know where I'll be a shooting star wild and free. There is no way to say goodbye but now I'm free so let me fly.
~pw~
down by the broken tree
neath the lighted moon,
the hopeless dance without dream nor tune
on the silver spoons of thieves.
silent shadows of the land,
will you join us this night?
where selfish thieves store their wings for flight,
we will burn down hand in hand.
let us go not unsure,
and do without remorse.
to kiss the sun and time's new course
where rain and winds are pure.
only then shall we dance
to tomorrow's melodies,
and bid farewell to the selfish thieves
and silver spoons for chance.
Copyright 1999 JilLxX
I sit down at my desk to spend my brief quiet moments before meds, I feel her again.She comes behind me drapes her arm over my shoulder, so cold. I feel her breath against my ear, as she hisses "how you been lover?". My back stiffens I want her so bad sometimes but now she is not welcome.
She is angry now she demands I look into Her eyes, I see the cold cold fire that is Her essence as she looks into my soul. So I have been replaced she asks? I can't answr because terror has gripped my soul again.I have danced with her too sweetie and will again, you will not escape my grasp. I beg her on behalf of my true love to leave her be, stalk my nights instead.
She drops her buetiful disguise full of buety and shows her true self corruption and decay, suffering is felt with her every move. Her little sister in the background who radiates despair, tells her "sis he is still mine I have yet to brake him!" Her older sister reluctantly assumes her perfect form so seductive to one like me. She hisses as she leaves" we will dance again, mon ami, when my sis has broke you you will beg for me, and I WILL COME."
I am a cold sweat, how close am I to breaking? When will the next song play?
harvesting the grain
planting on the smile
praying for the rain
hoping though we dread
loving though we lose
burying the dead
buying baby's shoes.
a spacious, pretty place
all too full of emptiness
to love it's grand brick face.
It's here I've been at home
Four flights nearer Heaven
I have no fear of little space
three children could be seven.
Messy, jumbled room
nothing in its place
nothing has a place
flickering light
ringing phone
tv on, volume up
changing channels
Chaos
I scream
Nobody there
Nobody hears
alone
I try to escape
No Doors
Bars on Windows
TRAPPED