So me and my boyfriend were together on and off for almost 3 years and i have been bipolar my whole life! so yeah this is hard to put into a paragraph. i did alot of shit that was bad i would get drunk and flip out on people. the most recent thing i did was break up with my boyfriend for no reason and i went to party with some guy friends of me and ended up having sex with both of them (not at the same time) anyways i never really wanted to break up with him but i wanted him back only problem was that i felt guilty so i told him what happened and now im sitting here alone again because i didnt take my meds and drank when i shouldnt have. the worst time to drink is when your depressed. in april i was raped because me and my boyfriend got into a fight again not on meds then and i took 105 milligrams of valium and drank heavily, i went to the bar because i was upset with him,one of my best guy friends was there so he didnt think i should drive and drove me home and i like passed out and i saw him on top of me but i couldnt move or talk. then i woke up in a parking lot. i went straight to my boyfriends to tell him and he didnt understand what i was saying. anyways i fought tooth and nail to get him back just to get him to love me again. and i did and then i fucked it up. now hes telling me that i will never hear him say i love you ever again and that im a stupid slut. he doesnt understand that i have a disorder that makes me not think straight he just thinks that i fucked them on purpose and i didnt! im horribly heart broken. i love him more then anything in the world. i would die for him. and now im alone and very scared. i dont think ill ever get him back this time. has anyone out there had bad things like this happened to them because of there disorder?
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