So me and my boyfriend were together on and off for almost 3 years and i have been bipolar my whole life! so yeah this is hard to put into a paragraph. i did alot of shit that was bad i would get drunk and flip out on people. the most recent thing i did was break up with my boyfriend for no reason and i went to party with some guy friends of me and ended up having sex with both of them (not at the same time) anyways i never really wanted to break up with him but i wanted him back only problem was that i felt guilty so i told him what happened and now im sitting here alone again because i didnt take my meds and drank when i shouldnt have. the worst time to drink is when your depressed. in april i was raped because me and my boyfriend got into a fight again not on meds then and i took 105 milligrams of valium and drank heavily, i went to the bar because i was upset with him,one of my best guy friends was there so he didnt think i should drive and drove me home and i like passed out and i saw him on top of me but i couldnt move or talk. then i woke up in a parking lot. i went straight to my boyfriends to tell him and he didnt understand what i was saying. anyways i fought tooth and nail to get him back just to get him to love me again. and i did and then i fucked it up. now hes telling me that i will never hear him say i love you ever again and that im a stupid slut. he doesnt understand that i have a disorder that makes me not think straight he just thinks that i fucked them on purpose and i didnt! im horribly heart broken. i love him more then anything in the world. i would die for him. and now im alone and very scared. i dont think ill ever get him back this time. has anyone out there had bad things like this happened to them because of there disorder?
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...