Since i was smaller, like middle school aged, i would get all depressed sometimes for no reason. usually only at night, sometimes for a day or two in a row. The other times i was ridiculously happy and cheerful and energetic. Majority of the time i was fun to be with and around, and most people liked me. But even if i was feeling bad, i wouldn't let it show infront of people. It's still like that now, except, i think i might be getting worse. After a horrible event in my life, losing a terrible girlfriend whom i was very very close to and my best friend whom i was also close to, i aquired a new best friend. She and I decided we've been best friends since the fifth grade, even thought we've only been best friends for a year. She is bipolar. She takes medicine and stuff and goe to Therapy. She thinks i might be bipolar. A few days ago i told her something i hadn't intended to tell anyone. Here recently i've been getting these terrible thoughts. horrible thoughts. I've never EVER thought of suicide before in my life. EVER. no matter how bad things seemed. but recently i've been real worried, alot. About failing. just failing. at life. and i don't know what to do or what will become of me. and then i think things. like stealing her pills and inhaling the entire bottle. or aquiring a bottle of jack and laying in my bed and drinking the whole thing. or even drinking the jack and driving at ninety miles per hour on the new toll road. i don't like thinking like that. i don't like that these thoughts come into my head. driving my truck into a lake, or off into the ocean at the beach. Sometime i feel like i will be the most sucessful artist/cartoonist/writer in creation. I will be rich and famous, without a care in the world, and have a loving family, and a beautiful wife. I dont know. Do you think i'm bipolar?
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