Okay, Friday I was starting to sink into deprresion, then by Friday night I was buzzing around like I had a propellor on my a$$! I can't even begin to list the stuff I did this weekend, but by Sunday night my legs were aching from never sitting down all weekend. When I woke up Monday morning my left leg was numb. I was in a great mood for 4 days and riding high. By midafternoon yesterday I was sinking again and now I have sunk to a low, low. I have to constantly be moving and if I stop and sit down to try to relax, I start to get depressed. I am never rested. Every night this weekend when I go to bed I had horrible nightmares, even though I had a great day. I feel like if the day is good, I am punished in my sleep with nightmares and lack of sleep. It's like "Oh, you had a great day, so you will be punished in sleep." I am questioning why this keeps happening. I take my meds and try to keep myself busy. I wonder if I am a good person? Am I doing something wrong in my life? Please tell me, do any of you think I am a bad or negative person? Do I deserve some sort of punishment? Maybe I was a serial killer in a past life, I don't know, I just don't get it and can't take it any more! Am I a bad person? Why does my mind have to keep messing with me?
Posts You May Be Interested In
I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...