I assuming the thought is valid and serious, if so, I would seriously consider having a friend over for the weekend or go stay with one. If your stability at this point and juncture is dependent on it I would do it.

Yeah snow, I really can relate. It sucks, life sucks, why do I feel this way, and even when I am feeling ok, IT is still there, like decay in a rotting tooth.

So yeah I get you. I live at home with my mother, after a four year run at it on my own. it took 3 years to rebuild my life, and one relationship and a year to be destitute and living at my mothers house in a shit town. I may never recover.

But I went out and got a job.I am trying, and even within that that damn sef destruction keeps popping in and biting my ass. I hate it, but I am not going to quit this time. If I do, I will die.

So for today at least, I am going to try, cause I am just not willing to give it up.

yeah, it took me not too long at all, a few years on my own and then a year of (a pitiable) marriage. i had career stuff going on so i kind of feel like i've been taken down a peg in the world.

but fuck it. i got out there & i have a job too. it does help, working.

Maybe let your family know you're not safe/ have a friend to stay.

yeah it's a good idea. i do have one cousin who'd probably stay.

i hate telling them i'm not safe because they see improvement in me and i don't want them to see how much i still struggle. yeah i realize that's fucked up and i need to get over trying to please my parents, but it's tough.

I have never lived alone, but as a parent of adult kids, I can say that when one needed to move home, and even brought a child and spouse in tow, it was fine with me.

I'm glad you have a cousin that can come stay this weekend, and I'm even more glad that you have a loving family that supports you!

having someone stay is a good idea. I think I am way too dangerous to be alone when in the state you are in. You will feel better, maybe a medicatiion change?

Yeah, definately get that cousin over! You might have a ball! As for living on my own, only for a very short time, literally months in between relationships and I loved and hated it. I loved it for all the reasons I still like solitude and hated it because the irrational thoughts decided it was their Birthday and Christmas all at once. I s/h much more and flirted with suicide daily just because I could. I need other people and after my divorce went back to my Mum and Dads farm rather then live in my house on my own and that was at 33!
Lol..what a wimp but the 3 years I spent back at home were some of the happiest of my life. Mum and Dad treated me very differently and I got on especially well with my Mum, going with her to her flower demos and WI and all sorts of things. I treasre those memories now.

I know you must feel shame for not being able to stay by yourself. I'm going through this dilema right now. I will soon be on my own (failed relationship) and I don't know whether I should move in with a roommate or by myself. I don't trust myself enough yet to be alone, but I'm also afraid of being left alone by a roommate. Use all your resources (your cousin) to stay out of trouble. Good Luck and if you can post the after effects of being with your cousin. Like 'did you experience security?', 'did your cousin infringe on your personal space?', and finally 'were you glad your cousin was there?". I'd like to know how it works out for you. Good Luck and have a great weekend.
peace, teresa

I hope I can do it. Aside from my tendency to isolate myself and get very depressed, I have little ability to keep track of bills and the normal aspects of home care, I honestly forget stuff until the lights go out.But Im there now