I think I may be bipolar and it scares me. I scare me. I haven't been to a therapist or anything, but I know I've been depressed for a while. It's not how it used to be though. I used to just be sad and down all the time. Last summer was the worst and for a month straight I slept for about 16 hours a night. It was crazy...but this year I got even crazier. My sleep did a 180 and I basically don't really sleep at all. I typically sleep about 3-4 hours a night. Sometimes less, usually not more. I've noticed I can get angry really easily. I slam things, I yell, I break stuff. Sometimes I really wanna die. It feels like the end of the world and that I may only be around for another few hours. I give up all hope, and if it weren't for my friend, I might've already killed myself. I cut myself when it gets unbearable, but I always regret it. I've also been known to take a handful of tylenol. Somedays I'm just plain out of control. I don't know what might happen next. I just feel like my mind and my actions are not on the same page. And sometimes I feel like someone can say something to me that will change my mood completely in a matter of seconds. Sometimes, it feels like the best day of my life. I remember feeling down recently but down exactly know why. It seems so irrational to feel bad when at that time I feel so good. I feel so ashamed of anything I might've done while I was not feeling so happy. All of these things happen ALL the time. I can't handle it. I can't contol myself. I'm seriously afraid of myself and I don't know what to do.
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