Why does every discussion I have with my mum end in me wanting to smash the place up? Apparently I am spending too much time on DS and I need to make some nice "normal" friends who I can bake cookies with and have interesting conversations with about normal, non mental health topics. The internet is full of creeps, I need to meet some nice kind young ladies of my own age. Well newsflash, where exactly were these genteel young creatures when I was psychotic, off my head and on a psych ward? Having discussions over tea about the sad decline of J's mental health. In other words, nowhere to be seen! I was by myself when I went off the rails. Aaaaah this has sent me flying off, my mind is going a mile a minute, my OCD is raring because I've argued (its all based around harm coming to my mum) Apparently I am antisocial and bitter at the grand old age of 19. I am the product of my experiences. I am blinded by this, I cant tell whether she is right and I have some kind of complex. I am feeling f***ing mad, proper whizzing and I'm struggling to calm down. So much energy but its all negative and I've got no one to talk toooooooo...im all alone....better take some meds asap...sorry for this everyone...
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??