In my youth I had fun. I'd go out with friends...fun at school...and sometimes even fun with family activites.
After Years of responsibilities to John, being serious to the point of lines on my forehead I'm having a really really hard time with the word "fun".
Living in the moment I do have sporatic moments of Joy or Passion, or Happiness...yet for 'fun' I'm at a loss. Playing cards, knitting, sewing watching a good movie, cooking or reading a book are 'activities' I enjoy. I also enjoy cleaning as an immediate gratification. Yet, they do not for me any way create "fun"...they are more of a way to pass time.
I do have a passion, gardening which takes me to so many different places where my emotions and spirituality can be felt...it's a labor of love, sweat, prayers and tears being released at different points, inside me, and not spoken to people.
I guess Chachi is fun...I like being with her, she makes me laugh and we do activities with each other tossing toys or lazer light.
Guessing I need to figure out what 'fun' is with people...any ideas? I like being alone...being with people takes work, so fun really needs to be Fun.
Are you guys?
I’m seriously doubting my diagnosis. So many of you are doing poorly or struggling. But I feel fine! I feel normal and happy and cheerful and creative. But if I don’t have bipolar then wouldn’t these meds be making me crazy? The thought is there: I am stable because I am on medication. I just don’t know