I feel like the walls are crumbing now. Not sure how much longer this foundation is going to hold. The Crack are multiplying. I can't fail, I can't fail. I am the sole provider for my 4 person family and two of those people are children, one being only 6 months. I feel like I need to reach out but I don't want anyone knowing I am crackling. I told my husband about it, and how I want to get an insurance policy and make my death look like an accident so my child will be taken care of. I just have to keep pushing forward. I really want to go back to the outpatient program, I went to 3 years ago. I never thought I would grow so much to recognize when I need help more I stumble. But I need help, but I don't want to be judge as crazy and weak by work and family. I would actually gladly take medication if it would not hinder my ability to do my coursework, cause yeah I thought finish my master degree was a good idea. Yea, I had to throw that on top of that too.
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