Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm pretty sure this is a bipolar thing but sometimes something can get to me really quickly and it's like it sparks a flame of intense anger and I argue whilst being irate and feel like I want to hurt the person I'm arguing with because they've made me so angry but the thing I'm angry about isn't rational to get quite so angry about and I say things which I don't feel are in my real personality.
It's the lack of control I hate. The inability to be able to just walk away like my actual self would.
And I HATE feeling angry and being in arguments. It's like I'm watching myself be nasty and want to get myself to stop but can't then I feel REALLY guilty and regretful for what I've said.
Can anyone relate or have any advice?
It's the lack of control I hate. The inability to be able to just walk away like my actual self would.
And I HATE feeling angry and being in arguments. It's like I'm watching myself be nasty and want to get myself to stop but can't then I feel REALLY guilty and regretful for what I've said.
Can anyone relate or have any advice?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
First, I give you a hug. I will not tell you that I know what you are feeling or going through because I don't. I can only empathize and understand. I can also offer you these words: Please don't let anyone tell you that all of your feelings are wrapped up in this "label". Its a lie. You are a person with feelings of anger just like any normal person. There are "normals" who also feel out of control. I have heard my co-worker say time and time again that she wishes that she didn't have such a short fuse.
I can relate to you personally because I have always had a problem with anger. That anger is always the doorway to my manic phases, but I have never let anyone tell me that my anger is just a part of by illness because its a lie. I experienced nearly uncontrollable anger five years before my first manic episode.
I have always been very sensitive to the phases and stages of my anger because I was severely abused as a child. Among other things, I was beaten when I displayed any signs of anger so I learned to how to mask it and to control it. From age 10 to 15 I spent massive amounts of energy manipulating and suppressing an increasing amount of rage from the abuse and my violent environment. Doing this for so long turned against me.
I had my first blackout at 15. I woke up on the floor with no conscious recollection of anything. I was afraid, so I hid it until my memory came back the next day. From age 15 to 17 I had no ability to cry or display any signs of happiness. I had my first psychotic episode at 17.
The reason I am telling you all this is because of this: even though you have a mental illness you are still a PERSON. I still get angry. I was angry this entire week but it wasn't because I am bipolar. It was because my co-workers are assholes. Just because I have a disorder doesn't change that fact. How I act on my anger is a choice I've made.
Your emotions are real- even if the disorder amplifies them, they are real.
If you don't like the way you handle your anger you can take steps to change. I understand that you don't want to feel those feelings of anger and disassociation against yourself.
I'm just saying give yourself a little more credit. You haven't hurt anyone. Stop beating yourself up for how you feel and allow yourself time to figure out what you want to do about it.
I don't have anger problems at all. I've never hit anyone (except cops in a manic episode in self defense) because I've been trained in self defense and I know better.
I don't get angry. Sometimes I get annoyed, but truly it takes a lot to get me thoroughly pissed off. Someone has to do something very spiteful or malicious for me to get angry.
It varies person to person. Do your best with your therapist to get it under control. Good luck