If you go off of your meds it will give you the
courage to "do something?" Do you mean you
will commit suicide? I can't tell you to go
off of your meds. I would never tell anyone to
do that. I know side effects, ect. can be a
real pain but they are still our life line.
Don't you dare stop your meds! If you feel
they aren't helping you call your pDoc. If
you are feeling suicidal call your pDoc,
Therapist, a friend, or a suicide hot line. I
hope I didn't come on too strong. I do care
what happens to you which is why I'm being a
bit firm. Hugs to you!

Get a second opinion from the pdoc with best reputation you can get appointment with.
-ask for a med review

- if not taking an antipsychotic..ask if you can try one for size (can help with oppressive levels of suicidality)

-do some self help type work..CBT/DBT..whatever floats your boat

-exercise at least 3 times per week..even if just 30 minute walk..or lift weights (helps with mood)

-avoid 'fun' things like illicit drugs/alcohol..for the time being, at least

- Be KIND to yourself..don't beat self up etc..you need to be a good friend to yourself when going through this.

-Hope; these crap times do pass...much happier times are indeed possible..you can get through this.

the problem is that i dont' *want* to do any of those things. i really just want to get it over with. i don't want to fix it or get better... because in the end it never really will. it's not all the bipolar.. a lot of it's situational... and yeah.. i could survive and live through it.. and be in misery the rest of my life..b ut why would i want to?

see ur docter talk it over with him..turefully even though i still get badly depressed on my meds they help its not nearly as bad as it use to be

So, for the part that's situational, can you imagine a way in which the situation could change (ie: if you lived through it, it wouldn't be as miserable because the situation wouldn't exist in the form it does now?)

hlks, you said... the problem is that i dont' *want* to do any of those things. i really just want to get it over with. i don't want to fix it or get better... because in the end it never really will. it's not all the bipolar.. a lot of it's situational... and yeah.. i could survive and live through it.. and be in misery the rest of my life..b ut why would i want to?


I can give u 2 very good reasons to want to...#1. yourself and #2 your child
The second reason was reason I wanted ot for many years..now i include me in that equation too. please message me anytime hun. ok?

Suicide is a permanent "solution" to a problem that could very well resolve itself. If nothing else, hold out hope that there is going to be a cure, a med that works perfectly for you. It's going to happen for me, so why not you? :)

even if they find a cure..which they won't... it won't change my life. meaning it won't change the things IN my life. trust me.. this problem is not going to be resolved.

polar, you can scratch reason number one. which would be worse for my son: growing up without a mommy.. and hell, probably not even that because i'm sure my husband would find someone soon enough.. hell, maybe he already has someone lined up.. or growing up with a mommy who's constantly miserable, suicidal, crying, etc etc?

My son is now 20 and my daughter is now 16(she is bi polar as well but they do not diagnose in canada until they are older)...they grew up with a very unstable, untreated, undiagnosed mother! I was not the ideal parent but i did my best with what i could. Oh I cried, I cut, I was hospitalized...I was single more times that u could shake a stick at...I even had childrens services step in and try to force me to be medicated...I won that court battle!
I would never lie to u and tell u it is going to be easy. I will never lie to u and tell u it is better if u did this or that. But I will be there beside you (maybe not pysically) emotionally holding your hand if you need me to or just listening or what ever! But I will NOT turn my back on you!
I know it is hard. and i know that the reason I am here today is because of kizmet, Karmes baby girl( a series of events at the right time right place). Blessed Be!

Do not give up! Keep trying there is hope for you! I took many different meds before I found the right one.
My daughters best friend committed suicide and it came out of the blue. Everyone was devastated, her parents still live with the what ifs and her sisters and brothers miss her terribly. My daughter still deals with what if she had just read the signs, so did all of Nikki's friends wish they had seen it. She killed herself ten years ago and the pain is still with them all. Please please please call a hotline or a doctor, anyone! I am keeping you in my prayers.

I am not going to lie to you. Do NOT stop your meds. Why do you want to stop them? Talk to me honey!

hey i will be the first to admit we all want to give up our meds, why for me, get the manic back that the pdoc takes so quickly, get self confidence back that dies with the meds, loose weight that is gained so fast with the meds. Be me, the one and only me I have known all my life. BUT is it safe, for myself and others to be un medicated? How long would I last? Another reason I medicate is I hate the ward, I can live a fairly good life day to day unlike others, yes I work 25 hours per week, I travel I have a nice home, a wonderful husband. But I dont have alot of friends as they ran and kept running from this beast they call bipolar. She has a mental disorder they say. I am proud to be bipolar now and I try to educate people all the time, show them we can be happy, live life to teh fullest. Dont give up yell out to those of us on here who can listen and support you. Life is worth living and you are worthy of loving.

gurls, i want to stop my meds so that i will be able to kill myself because right now I just want to be able to kill myself, but i can't. i know if i stop my meds i will be able to.

unraveled, came out of the blue? there are always signs. In my case, there are plenty.. you know... like me saying it.. I just don't have anyone to care. I'm sorry for what happened to your daughter's friend.

kiwi.. well.. i'm glad you can be happy, live life to the fullest and all that. That's honestly really great. For me it won't happen. No offense, but you can't say if life is worth living for me OR if i'm worth loving.. (which, by the way, I KNOW I am worth loving, but that doesn't mean someone willlove me)

Hey there... I've been there with the abusive husband who betrayed me, said he didn't want to hurt HER anymore (the OW), but thought nothing of verbally kicking ME in the teeth about anything to do with the situation, I'm bipolar... I understand the immense pain, I'm medicated, been through lots of therapy, a suicide attempt, but none of it stopped the obsessive thinking about the situation and about how much the pain hurt. It sucks and I would have done ANYTHING to make it stop. The truth is for me, nothing ever helped except time. The little cliche' about time healing all wounds??? I would have punched someone in the face if that had been their advice to me at the time, but really... time has faded things, things got better, but at a snails pace. When you are in the middle of it all, it seems like you will NEVER escape from the ton of pain weighing down on you. I was sure it would NEVER change. Keep your mind moving, get out of your routine, try something totally off-the-wall... Just take comfort (just a little) in knowing it won't always be this way, it just takes time, and time seems to just stand still... IM me sometime... you are a fascinating person. Your peace WILL COME, just not today or tomorrow. It will be so slow that you won't even notice it happening, but it WILL happen. KNOW that... Please take care of you...