i really dont. im fighting so hard for what? nothing. yes i have my happy moments but then i dont and im sick of every little thing pissing me off and me going way overboard when it really isnt a big deal at all. so i went to the doctor the other day and he said that i might have ADHD as well as being Bipolar im like fucking great another disorder in my fucked up life. im already going through depression and dealing with this do i really need another one? sometimes i think life just hates me. i feel like i have no one to talk to about it i dont know anyone who is Bipolar so none of my friends or family really gets whats going on in my life right now. yeah i know its not the end of the world or anything that drastic to most people but it is to me. i used to be tottaly against taking meds to "fix" something. i dont think it works. and my meds really havent done shit for me so i still believe that. suicidal thoughts are killing me i just dont want to be here anymore. no one understands that. they all think its for a stupid reason but its not stupid to me. im just sick of being so ugh i dont even know what to call myself anymore. ive been feeling like this for three days straight everyday. like i just want to die and get it over with. but i cant do that i want to but i cant. im not seeking attention i just need someone to talk to that understands me. someone that wont judge me and make me feel guilty about how I feel.
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