The worst part about that whole episode was that I told everybody! It lasted a long time..so I had to go to work like that and my oh my i wudnt shut up about my new plan and my new life and ..yeah..Everyone kept asking me "Um isnt ur idea a little bit extreme?" lol..sure it was but I dont openly talk to anyone about me being bipolar. I like to keep it on the D/L just cuz im already misunderstood I dont need people making excuses for me for my behaviour. but yeah..not everyones gonna be askin me what happened to my "big" plan...I dont even remember why I wanted to do all that. and it had nothing to do with the environment. I dont give a shit about the environment? my god..lol

*sighs.. I really think people are beginning to notice tho. cuz well.. Im here im there im everywhere. one minute im doing one thing with my life the next ive totally shut out that idea and moved on to the next thing n then i dont care anymore cuz im depressed as fuck and cant function..and thats in every area in my life..with my family with my job with my relationships with everything..im happy with something one minute n then im not..n then im enraged about it then im not..then im content for a while and thats nice n then im back to being enraged or extatic or depressed about it or I just dont want it anymore at all..and thats with everything! BLAH! WHY?! *sigh..I need structure. nope wait. I dont know waht I need. If i knew that..i would be doing that..maybe.

Hey there,
I get really euphoric. Except this one time, i was fixing up my speech for class, and some of the things the teacher put down didn't make sense, (Like ending a quote early, and then making grammar corrections to the second half of the quote, and removing info I really liked) I love this teacher, but I kept slamming down my paper, and screaming swears at the teacher, and like beating the crap out of my laptop, then bursting into tears. I thought I was having a depressed episode, but then I remembered manic episodes can mean anger and irritation, but I've never had an angry manic episode. I think it was a mixed episode anyway...
You're not weird. The same thing happens to me in my manic episodes, I start dreaming up these insane plans, but usually its to start a project, like a huge peition against disection in my school, and when the manic episode passes, I'm just like wow that was dumb.

When I come out of it, I don't always think my ideas were necessarily stupid. Usually they're just things that I would never do in my normal state or things that are good ideas but im taking them to an extreme. See protesting disection in your school, thats not a bad idea at all. It's actually very positive and a very intelligent thing to want to do. But with me say if I had decided in a euphoric state that I wanted to protest that, It would be wildly insane. Like I would prolly think of the most rediculous way to protest it, rediculing, signs, posters, t-shirts, buttons. Id prolly resort to illegal things..like breaking into the store room of those animals and getting rid of all of them etc..or putting them somewhere absurd like in teachers desks? like who knows. Usually the ideas in themselves that I come up with are positive things. Like I do think it would be a very interesting to try and live a non-consumerist life. Its not a bad idea and im sure there are lots of people in the world that try to live their lives that way. It was my extreme ideas and rules that i made to go along with this that were a little odd.But even then they werent bad. After thinking all that up I wish i had the self-dicsipline to give it a go..lol..but i know it will never happen. Its just like when i came around..I was like woah? why was i thinking up that idea? and like how did i ever even think that I could do this? and then I just didn't want to do it anymore. It surpassed me. Never think ur ideas are stupid Bellax! Any idea that is positive and creative and would be a good life experience is a great thing! Embrace that you have a mind that can promote healthy ideas while ur in a euphoric state! I think that's worth embracing. Now if only we could figure out a way to keep ourselves in a euphirc state all the time?! OOH MY! HAHAHA okay..Mushrooms anyone?!

lol thanks, a lot. But when I'm not manic anymore, I usually think everything I was planning before was absolutely crazy. I've always done that though, from being like 6, and trying to plan talent shows in my neighborhood, and putting up signs, planning for a dog show in which all the dogs are the little fake ones that bark and run around, and as I got my project started, the whole thing just felt really dumb and pointless. When I'm planning something though, I'm convinced I'm going to like revolutionize the world or something. I agree the things I think of could turn out okay, but its not something I would ever bother doing when I'm "normal"