I've been through some really bad episodes, and for awhile now I've been "better". But tonight I broke down. The past never seems to be far from my mind and the relationships my BPD has ruined haunt me. I've lost my best friends, people I thought would always be there, either because they couldn't understand or I was too afraid to open up. I'm so tired of not having a friend to turn to. My mother has been amazing but she'll never truly understand how much pain I am in. How can I find people that will understand how hard this is? I'm so afraid I'll never find someone who will love me and put up with my emotions.
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??