Every year Christmas for me has been empty. all i ever think about is my son. He was due Christmas day but came early at 22 weeks and shortly after died. That was 7 years ago but the pain is fresh like yesterday. And christmas is like salt in a open wound for me. My husband tries to understand what im feeling but he has no idea of the daily struggles from my loss. it makes me feel so distant from him. Im up and down like a yo-yo. I can feel Christmas coming it gives me a sick feeling in my gut. Im hoping this year will be better for me. I struggle with depression its up and down and very tyring i wish everything would go away. I feel so alone at times.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??