
Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

deleted_user
My dad dies suddenl 2 years ago on the day afer Easter. It was the worst thing I have ever felt and I think about it almost daily. The thing is pretty much from the day that it happened I have bottled everything up inside of me and done my very best to ignore it as much as possible. My problem is that I have been unable to talk about it with anyone, not even my fiance. Why can't I let people in on my grief and the fact that it is still very hard on me. I can't even think of sitting through a church service without crying and now my mom is going to be really angry at me for not going to church today and I won't even be able to tell her why I couldn't go! Everyone I love and shares in my grief is in the dark about how I feel, I guess I just don't know how to open up. . .what am I suppose to do?
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I think you are subconciously afraid to voice it to anyone, because when you do it will make it really "real", and then you feel like you will totally lose it. I honestly think you will feel relief. Nothing is healthy when you bottle it up inside. You need to find a way to release this or you may become ill. I'm not trying to be scary, it's just a proven fact. Start with a journal. Write it on and on until you can't thing of a single thought you haven't written down. Then pick one thought from your journal and share it with someone. Take their cue as to what to say next. And if you break down and cry, just know God gave us tears for very good reasons, grief being one of them. And I find grief to be a strange animal....it comes and goes like a thief in the night, staying a few minutes, leaving, then coming again sometime later. Have you considered therapy? Or a grief support group (check your local hospital or even funeral homes). You may do better opening it up to strangers, at least in the beginning. It's very good that you come here and write it out. This will always be hard, but it is harder on you because you are bottling it all up in there, where it knocks and bangs you around and makes you pay attention to it. I hope you can allocate a special place for your grief where you can go and do nothing but that, then be able to feel better and do some other things. Good luck, it's a tough road. Baby steps.
Becky
It's not a bad thing to cry at church. I've seen lots of people do it at all kinds of churches. I always figured they were missing someone or that perhaps the hymns or sermon had touched their heart in a special way.
My husband was killed in a motorcycle accident a few months ago, and though, I have never felt the grief of losing a parent, I imagine that the pain is just as intense! I have been putting a "front" on for everybody and thats not good because at night when all is said and done the pain is still there. I have tried therapy but I do not have a problem talking about it, I am having a problem accepting it, and I will probably never understand why god took him from me, I have no choice but to except it. My mom and I are very close and she knows how I feel and she knows that I put on a happy face for everyone but all I can tell you is to pray that the lord give you stregnth. I am not a holy roller but I do believe in god and that he can give you the stregnth to just take it one day at a time. I dont believe that how we are feeling will get better and our grief will always be there, however, I do believe that over time we can accept it. If you ever need somebody to talk to, please e-mail me. Take care!
Last night was the first time I had been to church since my husband died. Before I got out of the car, I was putting all these tissues in my pocketbook. I just knew I was going to cry through the whole service.
I could not believe I did not cry one time. I avoided going because I thought it would be too painful. The sermon was on the holy spirit. The pastor asked who and what is the holy spirit.
When I let myself remember the teachings, he was left by God to comfort us. He is the one that wipes our tears away, he is the one that walks with us when we are in our darkest hour, and God does not make promises he does not keep!
I allowed myself to receive the message and let the spirit flow. Before I went to the serivce, my friend had asked if I wanted to go for coffee after. I had told her let me see how I feel after the service (because all that crying makes me feel so tired).
I went with her and had a wonderful time. We sat there in the place until they started cleaning the floors.
Sometimes, we just have to have the COURAGE TO HEAL. I will pray for you. And remember we have to do it at our own pace, and I am sure your mother wil understand. If you cannot verbally convey what you are feeling, write it down and leave it where she can see it!