Yep. I feel just like this most of the time now. I look at the people around me and I don't like what I see. My brother died of cancer last year, and I'm convinced the main reason he checked out of this earth at age 40 is because he allowed himself to be bled dry by the vaccuous women in his life who drained his love, energy and money and giving him too little in return. And not just his girlfriends (he went through a few of them, not in a philandering way, but because he was trying to find "true love"), his ex-wife and her lazy slug of an ex-BF, who always turned to him to fix their cars after he had worked 60+ hours! I was much more respectful of his time and energy level, tried not to disturb him when I knew he was sleeping, brought him Subway lunches over to his warehouse when he was working on cars, watched movies with him. Had I known he needed a hug every now and then, I certainly would've obliged, but it was not his way to ask for affection, which is exactly what he needed, so I was a "hand-off" brother, listening to his relationship woes, helping him laugh (as he did me) and generally there for him, but wish I'd given him a lot more hugs. I'm so goddamn mad at humanity (and myself) sometimes.

The only thing that has helped me is engaging in group sports like tennis and bicycling, where you can turn that anger into positive health results for yourself! Or a punching bag! Gotta let it out, hon. Suicide is always tougher than a disease, because the guilt over "we should've seen the signs and done something to stop this". You have every right to feel the way you do. I'm here for ya.