Bereavement Support Group
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Maybe it's just the rollercoaster ride. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm seeing myself getting so little done...Not that I'm trying. I've been told my several people to "be kind" to myself. So, maybe I'm just doing that. But I'm feeling blue, and can't put my finger on it. Sort of a down feeling. I hear so much discussion about "feeling" a lost loved one - and I so wanted that before. Now, I'm not even sure how I feel for fear I'd be afraid. But I don't feel Mom's presence...Sure, I'm around her things - but it's not the same. And I do miss her.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I'm feeling a little blue tonight as well. We both lost our moms in June and I am trying to be fun for the trick or treaters comming to the door. Mom always got a kick out of seeing the little ones all dressed up in costumes so guess I will try to carry on in her spirit. She used to wrap several candies in a little package to pass out and actually counted how many came.She always made things fun. She celebrated the eve of All Saints and All Souls Day.(Halloween) I like to think of her a Saint and watching over me still.I talk to her all the time and knew her so well I can answer for her most of the time. I miss her intensly but I do not miss watching her waste away. I want to honor mom by repeating her example, but I can feel her disaproval that I did not wrap the candy in cute packages and ate so much of it I don't want dinner. I think the "blues" are part of the Holidays = Holy Days. This is how I feel moms presence and and there is no fear involved. If I felt fear I know it would not be my mom.