Let it go? Never will happen for me. My son died 4 months ago and only now am I 'beginning' to talk and feel. Some people act like they are stepping on a hot nail when I am around.... I know it's not me, they can't handle it. So I am talking with those who I feel comforted, very few in my life.

When you have a loss so deep, you never fully get over it. If they had suffered a loss like yours they wouldn't be saying that.
Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. If you feel like crying... cry. You do what you need to including bringing up his name and talking about him. Tell them it is part of the grieving process to talk about it.
My aunt lost a 2 week old baby 45 years ago and she is still not over it.
So let them think what ever they want but don't bottle up your feelings and emotions as you will never heal that way... Talk to those who understand here on DS and your pain will lessen.
I am very sorry for the loss of your brother and I will be saying a prayer for you today...
God Bless You,

Tim (Jenae's Dad)
http://jenae.gallegos.home.att.net

thats how i felt saaah i couldnt talk about it, it was too painful for me but now i feel able too ppl expect me to 'be over it'

Just like after the funeral ppl thought cos he was gone and funeral done thats it draw a line and forget about it.

I just cant do it.

thank you Tim. my thoughts are with you too.

I think when ppl tell me that I need to be a certain way pertaining to my mom's death, I feel they have never experienced a close death themselves. I mean I had grandparents pass away etc. But I was very young and didnt have a close relationship with them.

You dont owe anyone in this world an explanation for how you feel. You have every right to feel as you do. Some ppl deal w/ deal by ignoring it. Some ppl deal w/ it by completely shutting down. Then there are those of us (including myself) that take each new day as it comes. Some days are ok, some days are hard, and some days are unbelievable horrible.

You can't ignore how you feel! You can however ignore others suggestion that you "get over it".
Grief is not a thing that you get over, it becomes a part of your life that in time..months, years, decades...you learn to live with. It doesn't "get better", we learn to live with it, learn to move forward, learn to live without that person in our lives..it gets different...and we are different... honor your feelings, do things in your own time....(((hugs)))

we are all experiencing society as a whole do not want to deal with people that are grieving. many people feel uncomfortable with the subject of death and grief.
What i do is " act normal" when I am out and then I go to DS and vent. Wishing you well.