I lost my sister 7 mo ago. I have just recently started to grieve. I think I just held it in because I did not want anyone to know my feelings. But I still have this ache in my heart. I get this sinking feeling in my stomach. I just can't believe she is not here anymore and I won't see her. I remember our childhood. I am the youngest of 3 and Michelle was the middle child. She also was the bully. My oldest sister, Royce, always saved me from Michelle. She didn't change when she became an adult. I always disliked her when she picked on me. She never took me seriously. Now I miss that and would do anything to have it again. But I know that isn't possible. 2 yrs ago she suffered a stroke and even though she recovered she was not the same Michelle that we all knew. She acted like a teenager again and sometimes even a child. But I liked that because we got along better than we did before the stroke. If her doctors thought about it better than they would not have cleared her to drive and work. Because even though we all knew she was not ready, she thought she was because the doctors said so. I am pretty sure the reason that she did not wear her seat belt the day of her car accident was because of the damage to her brain from her stroke. I now wonder if her doctors feel bad for clearing her too soon. Probably not. Can anyone tell me how long it takes before the ache and sinking feeling goes away? I really miss my sister but I have to be strong for my children. You know something odd, my middle child was more traumatized from my sister's death then either of my other children. She still grieves. I had her seeing her school counselor even though she is only 7. How do you help your child grieve when you are still grieving? My daughter is alot like me, she can hear a song or see a picture that reminds her of Michelle. I love you Michelle.
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