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This subject is a rhetorical question. I know I'm going through a grieving process. But there's a lot of emotional issues that are attacking me now. Add to that some personal and financial issues.
I've had two hysterical breakdowns in the past two to three days. I'm disgusted with the way my house looks, the way I'm handling things (or not). I'm very upset and can't get over Mom's botched funeral. How poorly I handled things when I had enough time to make things better. That alone brings me to tears, and it can't be undone.
I think - no, I know - I'm having a problem emotionally with religious issues as well. Even talking with religious advisors helps only momentarily. This is causing me the greatest upheaval/loss of peace, I believe. I'm confident if this were resolved, I'd still be grieving but not losing it ! I thought I was getting better and was doing so well before Grief Counseling this week that I questioned even needing it any more - and then I lost it.
I find myself saying the dumbest thing - that I want Mom back. I'm a big girl - I know better. I don't know how long this is going to last but wondering which way to go.
Emotionally distraught.
I've had two hysterical breakdowns in the past two to three days. I'm disgusted with the way my house looks, the way I'm handling things (or not). I'm very upset and can't get over Mom's botched funeral. How poorly I handled things when I had enough time to make things better. That alone brings me to tears, and it can't be undone.
I think - no, I know - I'm having a problem emotionally with religious issues as well. Even talking with religious advisors helps only momentarily. This is causing me the greatest upheaval/loss of peace, I believe. I'm confident if this were resolved, I'd still be grieving but not losing it ! I thought I was getting better and was doing so well before Grief Counseling this week that I questioned even needing it any more - and then I lost it.
I find myself saying the dumbest thing - that I want Mom back. I'm a big girl - I know better. I don't know how long this is going to last but wondering which way to go.
Emotionally distraught.
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The periods of hysteria concern me the most. You might want to tell that to a counsellor or someone who can evaluate it better. Sending huggs, Rainbowmama
For me, looking back on my sister-in-law's memorial service, it is not hard to see what I did right and what I did wrong in organizing it. Then you add in all the family dynamics and it's hard to say if a funeral ever goes perfectly.
I want Andrea back, I want Joel back, I want Bryan back. These to me are not unusual emotions. Their deaths created holes in my life that cannot be filled by other people.
My heart goes out to you. Please don't give up on grief couseling. Also, remember even if you are having trouble with your spirituality, your higher power isn't. So he or she is still by your side.
I wish you had your mom back too.
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Religion is a tough spot when we have a loss like this. I am mad at God for not choosing to heal my son, but at the same time, I do know deep down inside that God knows what was best for my son. But yes I am still mad. The best thing about God is that he already knows what's in your heart, he already knows what you are thinking without you even saying it. So, as I have gotten back on my journey with the Lord, I tell him everyday, "I love you, but you know I'm mad at you!" But he's God, he can take it. That's why we call it a relationship. We get mad at our friends and family and yell and scream and they forgive us because they love us. Same goes for God. I just always ask him to please help me cause I feel like I am losing it and my sterring wheel is not too happy that I keep beating it up.
I pray for all of us to have peace, understanding, and comfort.
~~David's mom, Mita ~~
As far as religion, I too have found that religion doesn't hold all the answers. I think I've found a healthy spirituality independent of organized religion now. It's just a matter of going to that quiet place, a park, the beach or wherever, and talking to your higher power and your departed mother DIRECTLY, cutting out the middlemen. I'm really annoyed by the fear tactics employed in Christianity. Jesus himself was a righteous dude who practiced love and tolerance for others, but his message has been so bastardized by fanatics who pledge that blind submission is the only way to eternal salvation. I think being a kind person and thus LIVING like Christ is the answer. Buddhism as a philosophy is more to my laid-back liking. Religion is supposed to clear up confusion and instead it causes it. You're not alone in your quest for "higher meaning".
All this does get better with time--you've just got to embrace the loss and accept it as part of the experience of life. Let the tears and the anger flow when they want to, apologizing to loved ones for any outbursts or transgressions when they occur.