(*(*(*Mamas Child*)*)*) It sounds like you turmoil right now goes much deeper than grief. You may want to get a complete check up by your medical docotr, tell him all of this, and be evaluated by a MH professional. You asked "what do you do" but each persons' circumstances are different. In my case, I have Bi-Polar Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and Seasonal Affective disorder, so I am under the care of a Psych doc and a therapist. I am on meds and use "talk therapy" which helps me quite a bit.
There is also a grief group running in my area right now, so that helps. Often times one stressful situation can bring to light troubles that have been "forced down" inside us for years, and you may need someone trained in these things to help you. It sounds to me like you can't afford to wait much longer for help. We're here, but I believe you need more. I am so sorry that things have gotten so bad for you. Rainbowmama

Share your feelings with anyone who will listen and remember that YOU know where your heart is! Preists are not the answer, counsiling is not the answer, you have it inside you!!! Write me a message if you like. I am not a counsilor. I am a human who has lost her Mom (2004) and lost her neice in Aug. 07. I am just saying that if you need a vent and want some open mouthed assistance, I am here. Will read your porfile and see if I can help you more! Take Care!!!

It sounds like you need to find a new NEW....a new way of living life and going on....this will be the most difficult as you are discovering now...What are you saying when you said "it's of a spiritual nature."....God has a purpose for us all...this is why are eyes open each day and when our purpose is fulfilled then we leave and go onto the next realm...I agree with what you said about Meds...I refuse to go on them but I feel as if I don't need them...I am too strong of a person to let this "get me down"...unfortunately it IS a part of life...we all have to do it....whether we want to or not....it is important to do the things that are important to you....I won't tell you to talk to a priest...I never did...I worked through "it" myself...it was and is difficult as I still miss my mom but she is no longer suffering and that is my greatest relief....people do handle grief in a lot of different ways...I suppose if I weren't having a child as the time and unattached I would've went "crazy" but then again thinking about it I wouldn't have because:
1. My mom didn't raise me to not be able to handle anything that comes my way and 2. I am severe type A soooo I handle whatever comes my way good or bad

I believe that spiritually they send us messages in dreams, clouds, everyday things we just have to "see" them and that can be spooky and ironic....I wish you luck and God Bless and pray that you find the answers you are seeking....yep, I cried a lot in the beginning until I got tired of crying sooooo much....then I said enough is enough and focused on the life...my new husband and child at that time....good luck!

No one is going to give you the answers because none of us knows what happens after death, whether there is another plane of existence, heaven, or a void. Those who claim to "know" only really can "believe"; and I envy them that belief sometimes because I personally think no one religion has the answers and we can not know what is to come from our experience on earth. I too have struggled with the "big questions" in life since my mother's passing. It's one thing to think about those things in the abstract but quite another to watch it actually happen with a loved one. It sounds to me like you need to start reading books on the subject--either religious books or philosophical ones--that address the questions you still keep asking. If an intellectual approach doesn't work, try calling a hospice counselor. They have insights into the process of death that may help answer some of your questions. But in the end, it is up to all of us to figure out some way to deal with the reality of mortality that losing a loved one often makes us face. God bless you and help you through this period of healing.