It has been 12 years since my sweet daddy left this earth.It broke me and I will forever be changed by it.I understand he was hurting and weary and God saw he was tired of walking this road so He called him home.It took me sooo long to realize that.I just started greiving my father as I have ran away from it all these yrs.Some days I feel like Im withering away but most days I try to remember his smile and make him proud.My sister,who also has ran from greiving,called me and said she got a copy of the death certificate.She told me they ruled it self administered overdose.What she told me next shook my world."One of the drugs he overdosed on was mamas and I think she killed him!!" How do I deal with this!!!! I have always pushed things away from my mind,like the fact that all drugs were locked in a safe box and mama was the only with the key to prevent daddy from abusing his painkillers.I AM FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.How do I even talk to my mother again.How do I know what to beleive.It has been so long.OH GOD WHAT DO I DO
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