I am more sad now than I was when Mike first died? I know you have to walk throught the dark before you can see the light again, but I was hopeing it would not be quite so dark. I am having trouble sleeping, grinding my teeth and have some bad luck ( I crashed my car up, I am o.k. just have a sore back ) I am just so lonely even thought there are lots of people around who love me. I don't know how to get out of this cave I seem to have crawled into? I am so scared that I will slip back into the depression I had after my dad died.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...