72 days 20 hours and 59 minutes since I last saw the love of my life. Yet, it feels like I just got the phone call he was gone yesterday and no time has passed. We are at the beginning of a whole new year and time goes on if we like it or not. I miss him sooooo much. More than I thought humanly possible. It still amazes me that he is gone. They say time heals all. I am not quite sure if this is true. I do not think its time itself but events and experiences. We never move on. We just learn to live with the fact that they are no longer with us. Time is not my friend. It is just sits there ominously. The more of it I have on my hands the more things I have to find to fill it. Long week ends are no longer enjoyable. It just a whole other day I am going to have to find something to do. And everything I do without him just reminds me he is gone. I hope I do not feel this way forever, although right now the pain seems endless. I hope someday I will be able to enjoy things once again.... I know he would want me to. I will never forget him, but I hope I can learn to live without him. It's funny because I lived 25 years before without him. It just goes to show how relative time really is. And how some people are so special they just come into your life and you are changed forever. The eight months I spent with him felt like a lifetime. I learned so many things about myself. He brought out the best in me and I know I brought out the best in him. He will continue to bring out the best in me because he is in my heart. I am thankful for the lessons I have learned and the self- discovery that he taught me. I will love him forever....
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