My older sister died on March 3rd of meningitis. She also had Hepitatis C. She was 44 years old (18 years older than me). She was also estranged from the family because when she was a teenager, our dad threw her out of the house. As a result, she ended up moving across country to California where she got involved with the wrong people who led her down the path of alcohol, drugs, etc. In 1998, she was dignosed with Hepitatis C and wasn't expected to live long. We tried to get her to come home, but she refused. She hated our dad with a passions. Two years ago, she called home to tell us that her health was failing fast. She got down to 60 pounds, and had to go on dialysis(not sure of the spelling). Our dad went out to California to find her to make amends with no luck. On March 6th, my parents got a call from one of my sister's friends telling them that she died 3 days prior. They couldn't tell me since I was at work, so when I got home, my husband told me. All I could do was scream and cry and feel the searing pain in my heart. When I don't feel the pain, I feel numbness and won't talk. I start shaking and feel sick. Now I'm feeling extreme anger; an anger that's so strong I could kill. Anger that my dad kicked my sister out, anger that she got into that lifestyle, anger that the people who got her in trouble in the first place are alive with families, careers, happy lives, anger that her so-called friends in California waited 3 days after she was dead to tell us. Writing this right now, I'm shaking and on the verge of having what seems to be the millionth breakdown since finding out about my sister's death. The only thing that helps is that the last time I talked to her, she apoligized for not being around when I was growing up, and that she had always loved me. I told her I forgave her and that I loved her too. That was the last thing I said to her. I miss her so much. It feels like my life has been completely turned upside down. Has anyone lost an estranged sibling/family member? If so, how do you deal with it?
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