
Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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I'm almost 24 yrs old. I never had a relationship with my father. In the beginning, my parents were young. They were both under 20 yrs of age when they had me. They were never married but lived together for a short amount of time. My mom left with me when I was a baby because my mom described my dad as being "hot tempered". That was the last I ever seen of my dad. When I was 7, my dad contacted my mom to see if he could meet her at a park to meet up so he could see me again. My mom didn't show up because she was afraid of what my dad might do...like, take me away and my mom never see me again. It had been years since my mom had seen him, so she didn't know what he could have been capable of. For 8 years of my life, I was under the impression that my 'then' step dad was my biological father. When I was 8, my mom sat me down on the couch to tell me the truth, after I fight I had with my step dad. Jumping ahead to 1999, I asked my mom if I could contact my dad. She remembered one of his sister's name and we looked it up in the phone book and found her. I called her and asked how dad was doing, and she said he had passed....just 6 months prior to me calling. I was shocked. He was only 34 when he died...he died from cardio-myopathy. He was jogging through the park and just colapsed. So I at least developed a relationship with dad's family. A lot of stuff happened that led me to loose contact with them for 9 years. I regained contact with them and have a great relationship with them today. According to his family, it hurt my dad alot, not being there for me. He assumed that I already had a "dad" and at my young age, he didn't want to jump into the picture and confuse me so to speak. According his sister who was the closest to him, it crushed him when my mom didn't show up to the park to meet him. Alot could have been done on both ends to where I could have had a relationship with my dad. But from speaking to my dad's widow and his family, he really loved me and really wanted to be in my life. I have no reason not to believe them. For a long time, I held a grudge against my mother for decsions she made regarding Dad, but I realize that isn't going to get me anywhere, and that i'm only trying to bring Dad back. I just miss him so much and i want to know that he's around me. I don't know if i believe in that or not, but i really want to in this circumstance. The rest of the family started grieving 9 years ago, and i'm just starting to grieve. It seems like having a relationship with dad's family is making it harder for me to let him go...but I love my family! I most certainly don't want to loose them again. A part of me is literally missing/gone. How do I get through this?
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I started reading your discussion entry and even started my reply. THEN it was like WUUUOO!! This person has some time line issues!!
WHat is the true story?
Send me a message if you want to be real!!
Take Care of yourself!!!
We all post entries that at times are disjointed/haphazard...its just the way we are thinking and typing sometimes means we leave out or mix up things.
For the most part this is a very supportive site, and you will make some good friends.
How do you get through this???
No answer on that one, all i can say is day by day you will change, your life will evolve, you will in time come to terms with your loss... we are all missing a part of us, thats what brings us together, and we support each other along the way.
A day at a time, if thats too hard, a minute at a time is all you have to do.
Regardless of the "math" this young lady is grieving. To be so hard on her is down right mean.
That was a post that didn't need to be sent.
To answer the young lady's question...how does she get through this? From what I am told (I lost my dad two weeks ago) time will make it easier to cope but will not take away the pain. Acceptance is the final stage of grieving.
I am a long way from that place, but look forward to being able to breath without feeling as if someone has ripped my heart from my chest.
I wish you peace and comfort.
Personally, I don't think you should discontinue the relationship with your Dad's family -- reality is, they are YOUR family too ;). As hard as it seems, I think in the end, you'll be glad you kept them in your life. No one knows what the future holds, and I believe when God brings us to people (as He brought them to you) we need to hold onto them.
A comment to your "feeling that Dad's around you." I firmly believe that if YOU think he is... then it's true. Sometimes the devil has a way of taking away these moments with the negative, no-it can't be true. I say, hold on to those moments! Be in THAT moment, enjoy the time, and give thanks to the Lord for giving you that moment.