
Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

deleted_user
Hi - this is my first post to the forum. Thanks for having me.
I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer in August, after 10 months of helping my dad to care for her. My older brother and sisters all have families of their own and weren't around much (I'm the youngest by 13 years, and also a grad student, so my schedule is more flexible). Now it's me and dad in this big old house.
Here it is, December, and Christmas is looming. Thanksgiving was ok for me, but hard for the rest of my family. I miss my mom, of course, but for me the holidays seem like bright spots in this gloom. For everyone else, they seem like an unwelcome reminder of her absence. I can see that side, too, but since I can feel the holidays as a relief I'd rather see them that way. I'm looking forward to Christmas, in my way.
Does anyone else feel this way? Do you have any suggestions how I can hang onto my positive feelings about the holidays without trampling on everyone else's feelings of loss? I'm pretty sensitive to them, I think, and not worried that I'll hurt them - but I do tend to sacrifice my own feelings in order to maintain that sensitivity, and I don't want to do that either. My mom wouldn't have wanted me to be artificially sad, certainly.
I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer in August, after 10 months of helping my dad to care for her. My older brother and sisters all have families of their own and weren't around much (I'm the youngest by 13 years, and also a grad student, so my schedule is more flexible). Now it's me and dad in this big old house.
Here it is, December, and Christmas is looming. Thanksgiving was ok for me, but hard for the rest of my family. I miss my mom, of course, but for me the holidays seem like bright spots in this gloom. For everyone else, they seem like an unwelcome reminder of her absence. I can see that side, too, but since I can feel the holidays as a relief I'd rather see them that way. I'm looking forward to Christmas, in my way.
Does anyone else feel this way? Do you have any suggestions how I can hang onto my positive feelings about the holidays without trampling on everyone else's feelings of loss? I'm pretty sensitive to them, I think, and not worried that I'll hurt them - but I do tend to sacrifice my own feelings in order to maintain that sensitivity, and I don't want to do that either. My mom wouldn't have wanted me to be artificially sad, certainly.
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I like that. I never thought of it that way. Perhaps you could share that with other family members to ease their pain. This could help many people.
Huggs,
Rainbow