Bereavement Support Group
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~ I'm sitting in a big lobby, gorgeously decorated with flowers and light bubbly colors, hearing laughter and cartoons in the next room... I look around and don't even realize where I am and decide to go and leave. So I get up and walk down the hallway, to the exit, and my mom walks up suddenly and asks me to help her grab some things to bring to the car. I'm in a complete haze and go with her to what looks like a bedroom. She hands me some stuff, and it all looked oddly familiar, and then that's when I heard his voice....
My father was alive... I couldn't believe it! I ran up and gave him a big hug, and he looked fine, and healthy and smiling at me... I cried, and I was like "dad omg what are you doing here?! I thought you were gone". He apologized for making me worry so much... but he still wanted to me to help mom pack. So I happily and ignorantly helped her move his stuff into the car...
I finally asked her where we were going with all his stuff, and she tells me "Well we gotta take him back to the hospital sweetie".
"What? But he's fine. He's alive and healthy"
She smiles sadly at me. "Go talk to him again, honey"
And sure enough, I walk back in and his feet were swollen again and he was looking sick and thin... even though just moments before I was seeing him like he was before... he tells me to go back outside and go see my friends. I walk back outside, and I start crying so hard I couldn't stand... I start screaming "I don't want to go through this again! Why does it have to happen twice! I can't deal with it anymore! It can't be!" ~
I woke up, tears streaming down my face...
Daddy, I miss you so much... it hurts so bad...
My father was alive... I couldn't believe it! I ran up and gave him a big hug, and he looked fine, and healthy and smiling at me... I cried, and I was like "dad omg what are you doing here?! I thought you were gone". He apologized for making me worry so much... but he still wanted to me to help mom pack. So I happily and ignorantly helped her move his stuff into the car...
I finally asked her where we were going with all his stuff, and she tells me "Well we gotta take him back to the hospital sweetie".
"What? But he's fine. He's alive and healthy"
She smiles sadly at me. "Go talk to him again, honey"
And sure enough, I walk back in and his feet were swollen again and he was looking sick and thin... even though just moments before I was seeing him like he was before... he tells me to go back outside and go see my friends. I walk back outside, and I start crying so hard I couldn't stand... I start screaming "I don't want to go through this again! Why does it have to happen twice! I can't deal with it anymore! It can't be!" ~
I woke up, tears streaming down my face...
Daddy, I miss you so much... it hurts so bad...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
My fiance shows up in my dreams a lot, but for the most part, I know he's gone and it's like he's visiting me....but those dreams, like the one you had...are the worst. I've had 3 of them since he passed away and as hard as I try, they haunt me for hours and hours afterward.
Absolutely everything in the dream feels so real and he's alive and we're both so happy and I completely believe he's alive and all the emotions I felt when he was alive are there...but then it's as if a switch is flicked. And he vanishes from the dream and it hits me that he's dead. And I'm reliving the day he died all over again....the screaming, the crying, the all-consuming raw pain. I hate those dreams.
Lots of great big hugs for you. (((hugs)))