~ I'm sitting in a big lobby, gorgeously decorated with flowers and light bubbly colors, hearing laughter and cartoons in the next room... I look around and don't even realize where I am and decide to go and leave. So I get up and walk down the hallway, to the exit, and my mom walks up suddenly and asks me to help her grab some things to bring to the car. I'm in a complete haze and go with her to what looks like a bedroom. She hands me some stuff, and it all looked oddly familiar, and then that's when I heard his voice....

My father was alive... I couldn't believe it! I ran up and gave him a big hug, and he looked fine, and healthy and smiling at me... I cried, and I was like "dad omg what are you doing here?! I thought you were gone". He apologized for making me worry so much... but he still wanted to me to help mom pack. So I happily and ignorantly helped her move his stuff into the car...

I finally asked her where we were going with all his stuff, and she tells me "Well we gotta take him back to the hospital sweetie".

"What? But he's fine. He's alive and healthy"

She smiles sadly at me. "Go talk to him again, honey"

And sure enough, I walk back in and his feet were swollen again and he was looking sick and thin... even though just moments before I was seeing him like he was before... he tells me to go back outside and go see my friends. I walk back outside, and I start crying so hard I couldn't stand... I start screaming "I don't want to go through this again! Why does it have to happen twice! I can't deal with it anymore! It can't be!" ~

I woke up, tears streaming down my face...


Daddy, I miss you so much... it hurts so bad...