have you ever thought of creating your own thanksgiving day, like in the middle of july or something? Invite friends and family over, have a big dinner, celebrate what you are thankful for and make it a yearly tradition

It sounds like you need to forgive yourself -- which can be the hardest part of grieving for a lost loved one.
Thanksgiving is also the first Holiday after my son's death, although it was in September, but my feelings are similar to yours.
My daughter won't be in town this year, and I have already just bought a turkey TV dinner and turkey canned cat food to share with my cats. And that is all I WANT to do.

Maybe this year I can watch the parade uninterrupted for the first time in decades!!

Need forgiveness? For ? You are feeling the way most people feel around the anniverary of the passing of a loved one. You can't make yourself feel anything other than what you do, and should not have to apologize for it.
Just know you are not alone in those feelings. Rainbow

OK, Why is Thanksgiving so hard, I went to wash my hands, in right in front of me is the great big sign Happy Thanksgiving, what are you thankful for, beside is a pen an a post-it pad, for replys, I felt like ripping it down, I hate Thanksgiving, it is a constant reminder of that horrible day, I can remember when it happen, the next day I had to go to the mall, I had no dress for the funeral. Everybody was happy and it pissed me off. I am not usally this way, I know life goes on, but I want it to stop for my Jenny, she was just so special to me. I was not ready for her to go, I want her here with me. This time of year is so hard. Thanksgiving is suppose to be a day of Thanks it is so hard for me to be thankful on that day. I guess I should be thankful that I had her for 11 years, she changed my life, I believe she saved my life, I truly believe if she would have not been born, my father would have never met Jesus and become a Christin. The Tuesday before, we had a day all to ourselves, I had taken her to the Dr. she was very sick, I stayed home with her on Tuesday we had a great day, we watched While you were Sleeping and French Kiss, we had a very good day. I took her to School that Wednesday and I went to work she fine showed no signs of ever being sick. Came home, we went to sleep and Thursday, Thanksgiving morning she did not wake up, just me and my Nessa woke up, I beg and beged her to wake up and she would not wake up ever since I can't stand Thanksgiving. to me thanksgiving is a cruel reminder of that horrible day, I have a hard time being thankful.

forgiveness for what? you did nothing wrong. thanksgiving is just some made up day, it can be completely ignored, i ignored christmas last year and i am so glad i did. do whats good for you, thats all that matters. love, marianne