Hello, My name is Sara. Now that I have your attention. I hope that I won't upset any of you for we ALL have our struggles, pain & even sometimes peace & JOY.

In the last week I have heard of 2 suicide death's on DS. I myself would have been the third if I didn't TAKE MY SELF INTO THE HOSPITAL and say "Help, I feel like hurting myself. I don't want to hurt my children or friends. Please help me." YES, family and friends FEEL the pain! Friends on DS have taught me this and are still ingraining it into my brain... it's not easy.

We ALL have pain. Different kinds of pain. Different stages in our walk with this pain. However, WE have to Gather UP TOGETHER (like I did with a few friends) and write point blank. WE (YOU, ME) have a choice to reach out and ask for help. Grab hold of those who extend their hand back out. It's a choice ~ the past is not making that choice for you; at this point you are making that choice for yourself!

The holidays is one of the highest time of suicide, grief, sadness and most of all loneliness. You can be around 100 people and feel lonely. AREN'T we a support group? What does Daily Strength mean if some of us are out there committing suicide or hurting ourselves?

The other thing is this. Last night was the most peaceful night i have had in months. YES, months. With wisdom from friends and support; I got onto my computer and started journaling around 1 am or later. You see, that day, a friend msg me with something that made me a little sad. She has not gone thru the things I have but has pain of her own. My first thought was "OUCH!!" I figured she didn't understand my situation. I msg'd her back. WE WERE OPEN AND HONEST WITH ONE ANOTHER!!! That takes a lot of love and courage on both parts. However, what I want you to know is this... I was so afraid to close my eyes (due to nightmares, etc.) so I got up, went to the computer and started writing positive things in my life; which happens to be MY CHILDREN!!! (If you don't have children or family, YOU HAVE FRIENDS here at DS!! I can't even try to understand your pain, but I, like many other's are here and love you.) Anyways, the positive writing totally helped! She was right!!! I slept for 4 hours. But it was sleep!!!! No nightmares. I wrote about the good in my life. In fact I wrote ALL flip'n day and I got the most heartfelt support. Asides of my therapist, this is the most positive support I have ever remembered having.

I'm just asking. Before you do anything to hurt yourself; before you pick up that blade; before you pick up that drink or pills... There are people who care. So again, I ask. Even in the split second your heart is breaking... someone here LOVES YOU! Someone here is willing to give you wisdom and support. (I've learned that I have to be patient for responses... that's LIFE!) Many believe in God. That is where I tend to "hear" people a little bit clearer. Just remember, if you leave, you not only leave your family; but you leave behind your friends here at DS.

I say all this because I cannot go thru seeing or hearing of another person hurting and they go ahead with suicide. IT IS NOT the answer. I am slowly realizing that. I don't want to lose my family and my friends. It would hurt them. (weezie, lana & sandy, thank you & i love you!)

LET'S pull together as a support group, and support eachother. My friend & myself have an agreement; he'll stop binge drinking & i'll stop cutting ~ from there we go on.

I am putting this on EVERY community I am on.... how about you? We already have so much pain! What more do we have to lose to see how important we ALL are?

LASTLY, I am not here to judge. Just being open and honest. My walk isn't so perfect, but I'm realizing that what I do have consequences. I WANT TO CHANGE A BE HEALTHIER, that's why I believe the Lord brought me here! That's the whole goal, isn't it?

My groups: Sexual Abuse; Bereavement; Depression; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder; Separation Anxiety & Self Injury.

ALL MY LOVE, Sara

Sorry, one last important thing.... IF YOU ARE HERE TO JUST "JERK" AROUND PEOPLES' EMOTION BY TRIGGERING THEM ~ then I ask "PLEASE LEAVE"!!!!