This is all so hard, so new. I hadn't been with him for 7 months, he was gone. And then I get a phone call saying he's gone forever, he stepped on some stupid bomb and that's it. I can't believe that he survived so many close calls, so many other tragedies in Iraq simply to be another victim. We had just picked out a wedding spot, I just emailed him all the pictures of it since he couldn't go see it himself, obviously. I had just started looking at gowns and planning our life together. Now...... and it hurts because I'm only his fiance. In the military that means nothing. I can't get access to any of his stuff, I don't get his personal items, the stuff we shared back unless his father deems it appropriate. He wanted to give me his life insurance policy while he was over there. I told him no, I wouldn't need it. I told him not to change his will. Now, well now I just don't know what to do.
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