She's gone, I know that, or atleast I thought I knew that. I don't know why, but I can't stop thinking about the, "what if's" I just can't accept it. I have been drinking so much, and working so much. Anything to mask that I can't get over it. I wan't to scream, "IT'S NOT FAIR". I feel so childish. I feel so abandoned, and so helpless, most of all, I feel and feel and feel and feel. Funny how feel and fell are so similar. I'm feeling like I'm falling. I can't go back in time, but I need to. I didn't try as hard as I should have. I need that time back, I need another chance. I'm not going to get it. What I get is reminders of what I did wrong, everything I said that could have hurt, moments that weren't perfect, broken hearts I didn't mend. etc etc. It's just so damn hard!! You're gone, but I can't let go. My mind just replays everything. And I keep coming out lacking.
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