This is the first year without parents. I went to my sisters on Thanksgiving. We did ok. What really hit me was going to a craft store by myself, my mom loved that store and I always took her there. I have been sad and weepy since Sunday when I went. We put up decorations but all I feel is sadness and guilt over my parents not being here. They lived with me and dad died 2/05 and mom 07/07. My mom was not perfect and she was an alcoholic until about 20 years ago she went to AA. My childhood was not so great but I loved her because she was my mother. The last couple of years we got along well. I am sitting here and wanting to cry even as I write this.
Posts You May Be Interested In
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??