This is the first year without parents. I went to my sisters on Thanksgiving. We did ok. What really hit me was going to a craft store by myself, my mom loved that store and I always took her there. I have been sad and weepy since Sunday when I went. We put up decorations but all I feel is sadness and guilt over my parents not being here. They lived with me and dad died 2/05 and mom 07/07. My mom was not perfect and she was an alcoholic until about 20 years ago she went to AA. My childhood was not so great but I loved her because she was my mother. The last couple of years we got along well. I am sitting here and wanting to cry even as I write this.
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