I was wondering if anyone else has these thoughts. My son Dylon who was 17 passed away this Oct. the 13th. We are still awaiting the tox reports and all of the coroner\'s findings to find out what happened to him. I found him in his bed, he went to sleep and never woke up. Still as I write this I feel like I am trapped in a nightmare. I am so angry because I have so many people that have just disapeered the day after the funeral. Poof and they are gone. My dad who I have always been close to has refused to speak of Dylon again since the funeral. I am so hurt and now mad because of this. Also, there are people in this family that are bad people and they just continue with their rotten selfish lives and do not care. My son was not perfect but he was so good-hearted. He was good to everyone. he would help anyone he knew needed help, everyone was his friend. The showing was so large that police were called in to handle the crowd and we had thought that we kept everything low-key. I had no idea just how giving that Dylon was. People were coming to me and telling of times that he helped them and was ther to talk with them when they were hurting. He did not have the easiest life, but he always had time for someone in need. So why is he gone? And still today I keep getting big brochures of headstones and his casket warranty and his vault warranty. The funeral home sent me the invoice of the itemized bill listing some of what they did. I started screaming and threw it back in a box where I hope no one else ever sees it. And now here I sit waiting for the day that the autopsy reprt shows up in my mailbox. I am, certain that all of this hurt is taking pieces of my soul and eventually there will be nothing left but a shadow of what used to be. Instead of sitting and looking at car brochures or college catalogues, we were sitting at the headstone dealer turning page after page on headstones and trying desperately to act like this was something normal. Which color? o.k. ebony black. How tall or what shape? Do we want his face etched on it? Rough edges, smooth. Any poems on the back? God please help me not to go crazy and to be strong for Dylon\'s memory and for my two precious children that I still have. I rambled but I can\'t help it there is so much to say and then again nothing I say will ever be enough to stop this pain or to explain to you just who my child was.
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