hi my first holidays without my dad was hard and it still is. I did not really feel in the spirit and i really did not celebrate much but i did try as i have a five yr old and i know that my dad would not want me to be miserable so i just thought that you should just think about what your dad would want and then you some how make it thru the holidays. it will get a little easier as time goes by but as i said a little. today i am celebrating thanksgiving and i am thankful that i had 38 years with my dad and i will wish him the best thanksgiving ever i hope this helps

I have a " memory table" in my house for my mom. A lot of pictures and little do dads that she loved and things. I find it comforting and it's almost like having her here with me.

i like your Mothers idea.last year we had a traditional Christmas because of the kids. If it weren't for the kids i would have boycotted also.

i loss my dad on dec 3rd 2004 ..i have a candle that i lite for him,mom and my son. for the holidays... it does help but nothing helps like crying..

First, it would depend on when your father passed - early in the year or not? I have a family member who died in January and still his wife has been asking if I would be sending cards, since his passing was so early in the year. I also have a father who could/couldn't live into the New Year - which makes everything "iffy" in my case.

Second, if there you have children in the house, decisions are made for you. They may not understand, so you have to keep up regular traditions for them.

Third, aside from the above, my Mom used to say you don't send cards (or "celebrate") the first Christmas. Keep in mind what Christmas is, that the Birth of Christ is what we celebrate. So, what you might eliminate, if you choose, are the excess trimmings - however you determine.

I love Christmas, and it will be difficult not to decorate the house inside and out. My Mom would want me to do whatever made me happy. Having her here (or knowing she's safely at peace) is what would make me happy.

So, aside from putting up the Nativity, I won't be following the usual holiday traditions - just like today's Thanksgiving had no turkey, trimmings & leftovers. Will I do something special? No, just cry and miss her and pray for her and wonder what will happen with the rest of my life.

My Dad died in May 2007, I am only sending cards to immediate family..and presents to my grandchildren. My Mum's birthday is on the 24th Dec, so that is going to be hard enough to get through.
No suggestions for you, but I sure know how you fell.

Only thing I can say is don't bury your feelings. Let them out. This was my second thanksgiving without my Mom, and I almost feel guilty saying it was much easier than last year.

Hi there...my boyfriend passed away 6 wks ago&it would have been his 36th birthday on Christmas Eve.He was a twin so its gonna be really hard on his brother!..was wondering whether to send Xmas cards, but then i came across these lovely hallmark cards which are purposely designed for ppl who have lost a loved one..they go something like this:wishing you comfort & peace during this xmas...it won't be the perfect xmas but remember that i m still thinking of you...i think they r ideal.i guess that my bf's family would still have to have a little celeberation cause of the kids(his nephews&nieces)i guess they will also light a candle or two near his photos...hope my advice is of some help

Last Christmas it was only 3 months since I had lost my Mom and 7 months since I had lost my brother, so I wasn't able to do anything. I did not put up a tree or decorations, and did nothing but cry. I know that my Mom or my brother would not have wanted me to be so sad and depressed, but I could not help it, I did my best. I think you should do whatever you feel up to doing. Of course, when you have kids it is a different story, and you have no other choice but to make everything as normal as you possibly can. I can understand why you think your Mom is trying to boycott Christmas, but maybe that is all she can handle doing. Hopefully you will be able to think of doing something that will help your Mom and you both. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
love,
donna

If your mother wants to boycott Christmas. Please let her. My first christmas with out my husband I spent in bed. It was what I needed. If you want to do a little memorial for him do it. Think of what would make you smile. Try to get a picture and make an ornament for the tree. This way you have him in the center of it all. If you don't decorate then write a letter to your dad. Memories of christmas past. It may help.

the first christmas was the hardest w/o my dad,
neither I or my mum sent out any christmas cards, we kept it a very quiet christmas.
AS much as it hurt to be without him, we tried our hardest to remember the good times with him...there were so many.

I wish you much strength over the holidays

I can't thank you all enough for your responses. They have all helped me. Sometimes just remembering that I am not in this nightmare alone is helpful, though of course I don't wish this on anyone. My stepson is grown. My husband and I may go to midnight mass at the church where my dad's memorial was held.
On Thanksgiving, my mom went to my dad's gravesite. That is so hard for me. But I will support her anyway I can.

This will be the first Christmas without my Mom so I don't really feel like putting out decorations but eventually I will. Since I am Dad's caregiver he has insisted that I send out cards to everyone from him which I have addressed already - I think partly its because he is so lonely and wants to receive cards from others. Christmas will be very hard this year since Mom was the glue that kept our family together and Dad is the disruptive one who has broken us all apart so we don't really know how we will handle this first christmas without Mom -

We had our first Christmas without my mom last year as she had died in Nov. it just wasn't the same and the memory now of the whole holiday season of last year seems a blur..I thought of not celebrating but I knew my Mom would hate that we stopped celebrating the holiday...I don't think your dad would want you to stop celebrating holidays and life in general...

I boycotted Thanksgiving this year, it was such a relief for me,(I lost my daughter on Thanksgiving of 1995) Everyone does not have the same way of dealing with grief, holidays and memories, if your mother is determined to boycott Christmas, let her, but that does not mean you have to, there are all kinds of different types of memorials, I don't know how your dad passed away, you can always make a donation to a charity in memory of him, put a book togather, frame some pitcures, write a poem, write a letter to him, write a story, short or long. Follow your heart, and let your mohter follow hers,
When I heard my granfather passed away, I went to KFC and had lunch by myself in his memory (he worked for them many years as a maintenace man) there are just so many things. Take care and follow your heart.