
Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

deleted_user
I lost my mom on April 20th, 2007, a little less than two months ago.
Obviously, I am devastated...but I feel nothing, and I have a very hard time crying. I feel as though I've been on auto pilot - the lights are on, but no one's home.
My mom was diagnosed at the end of last November, at which time I was engaged and preparing for a wedding this June - much to my mom's excitement. We planned together.
She tried her best and fought as hard as she could to make it to my wedding, June 2nd, but she lost her battle 6 weeks before the big day.
My mom was one of my very best friends. An absolutely amazing woman. I loved her very much, and still do, and always will.
Coping with her death...well I'm not sure how well I am...this is very new to me and I feel that I am treading on uncharted waters for the very first time.
I held a lot of it in - and I guess I still am...except it's starting to hurt a lot more now. Like as if there is a real whole in my heart.
I was by her side when she passed as was the rest of my family. She wasn't alone, and we all tried our very best. No regrets. I didn't cry when she passed - everyone else did. I later got home and cried in my then, fiancee's, arms. Following that, I went on auto-pilot for the most part...including, on my wedding day. Couldn't feel much...or shouldn't say...didn't feel it as much in my heart as I think I should of. It's still very numb in there...although, there has been stronger sensation lately.
What bothers me the most is that I didn't cry..and still haven't really cried as much as I feel I should be...especially with that really horrible feeling in my heart. And, I have a really hard time remembering her. Like as though she didn't exist...sometimes I find it hard to picture her, hear her voice, or think of something that she once said. Sometimes, I see her name written on a document, and it really feels like I don't recognize her name.
I spoke with a counsellor. It didn't help. She was asking me what was wrong and what I needed help me. I get how mourning and grieving are supposed to work - I guess I'm just having trouble living through them. The feelings hurt terribly. And unless she was going to be able to take the hurt away, then she couldn't really help me.
Obviously, I am devastated...but I feel nothing, and I have a very hard time crying. I feel as though I've been on auto pilot - the lights are on, but no one's home.
My mom was diagnosed at the end of last November, at which time I was engaged and preparing for a wedding this June - much to my mom's excitement. We planned together.
She tried her best and fought as hard as she could to make it to my wedding, June 2nd, but she lost her battle 6 weeks before the big day.
My mom was one of my very best friends. An absolutely amazing woman. I loved her very much, and still do, and always will.
Coping with her death...well I'm not sure how well I am...this is very new to me and I feel that I am treading on uncharted waters for the very first time.
I held a lot of it in - and I guess I still am...except it's starting to hurt a lot more now. Like as if there is a real whole in my heart.
I was by her side when she passed as was the rest of my family. She wasn't alone, and we all tried our very best. No regrets. I didn't cry when she passed - everyone else did. I later got home and cried in my then, fiancee's, arms. Following that, I went on auto-pilot for the most part...including, on my wedding day. Couldn't feel much...or shouldn't say...didn't feel it as much in my heart as I think I should of. It's still very numb in there...although, there has been stronger sensation lately.
What bothers me the most is that I didn't cry..and still haven't really cried as much as I feel I should be...especially with that really horrible feeling in my heart. And, I have a really hard time remembering her. Like as though she didn't exist...sometimes I find it hard to picture her, hear her voice, or think of something that she once said. Sometimes, I see her name written on a document, and it really feels like I don't recognize her name.
I spoke with a counsellor. It didn't help. She was asking me what was wrong and what I needed help me. I get how mourning and grieving are supposed to work - I guess I'm just having trouble living through them. The feelings hurt terribly. And unless she was going to be able to take the hurt away, then she couldn't really help me.
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I'm sorry for your loss. For me, right now, I'm not fighting the numbness... Just going through the motions and hoping things will sort themselves out... Good luck to you. Take care.
I think what we all need to remember is that there is no such thing as a standardized mourning process. Everyone reacts differently to their own personal losses. There are plenty of emotions involved in grieving, but you can't lay down a plan as to how long or how many of them you'll experience. There will be a point where you'll want to cry, and you shouldn't try to avoid it or be afraid of it. It's part of healing.
Hope this helps.
Beckeroo
to help cope with a loss. It's more spiritual than religious. The PERPETUALS page may especially help. Feel free to use it as a link.