'Hello' everyone! I've been gone for AWHILE, trying to get my life back on track after my little brothers tragic death, I've started a new job, got a new grandson and made it thru the holidays(barely), but the pain will not subside! I just can't get past this! I've been having mini panic attacks, and uncontrollable crying attacks, even at work, this has been the worst holiday season of my life!! I just don't understand why?? I get MAD at my little brother, for the choices he made, choices that have all but destroyed my family! Then I feel guilty for getting mad! Sometimes I think grief is a no win situation! I pray and I know God helps me cause I'd be in the 'nut'house otherwise. This is never gonna end, my whole life has changed, I still can't eat right, I've lost 60lbs. since my brother died,I never get a peaceful nites sleep unless I take pills to sleep, but somehow I get thru each day, finding my 28 yr. old brother dead replays over & over in my head! I will NEVER get over that! I Thank everyone who asked about me while I was away, my prayers go out to ALL of you!! You are indeed a 'Wonderful' group of people!! I pray that God richly Blesses each and everyone of you!! Penny
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